Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 13th step...Forever

13^th step…Forever

            Shana’s seventeenth birthday did not go as planned.  To start, her parents weren’t happy about Alex coming over.  They were even less happy that the two were going out, and they kept warning Shana how poor she looked in Alex’s company.  They reminded her how unmotivated Alex was and warned Shana how she would be pulled down by such dead weight.

            Some of their criticisms stung, especially the ones that were true.  Alex did have a way of stumbling through life, and Shana genuinely feared for her friend’s future.  Even then, she didn’t care where Alex’s road led her.  They were friends, and deep down her parents were only worried about their own reputations.

            That is why she left, draped in a beautiful black dress.  It stopped at her ankles and flowered when she spun.  Her curves were accentuated, and her waist slimmed.  A little bit of makeup and a mountain of blonde curls completed the look.

            This was before Alex left for college.  It was in the early summer.  Shana stopped by Alex’s house and picked her up.  Of course, Alex didn’t have anything to wear, so she just threw together a black t-shirt and jeans.  She had looked the same since age nine.  Her apathy hurt, but Shana still smiled.

            They went out of town, not to Sadieville, but to the big city.  Shana’s parents had told her about a restaurant they had gone to on one of their outings.  It was French, and it sounded decadent.  They were refused at the door.  Shana dropped her father’s name, and they reconsidered.  She could come in, but Alex would have to wait outside.

            Guiltily, Alex told her to go ahead and have fun, but this time, Shana refused.  “I’m spending my birthday with you,” she said firmly, and blowing a raspberry at the hostess, she took Alex by the hand and they left.

            They ended up in a small diner down the street.  It was wall-to-wall knick-knacks and grease.  They got stares.  Now, Shana was the one out of place now, but she didn’t seem to mind.  Alex was there, and that was the important part.

            Shana and Alex met when they were kids and were fast friends.  Back then, Alex was full of energy, brutally honest, and completely fearless.  She had a natural kindness and warmth that made her shine.   She also had a sister who she never shut up about.  Shana used to get jealous.

            Alicia’s death had nearly killed Alex, and after the funeral she changed.  It was like the sun had been stolen from her world.  Everything became black, bleak, and lifeless.  Her grades declined.  Her social life depleted.  Only Shana stayed, and she was determined to endure the long night.

            Year after year Shana watched, waited, and nothing changed.  Sometimes it felt hopeless, and then she would glimpse one of Alex’s rare smiles, and when they were sincere, she would see a glimmer.  Hidden beneath all the sorrow and all of the pain was hope.  Over time it became clear to Shana.  It was her duty as Alex’s best friend to stay, to fight the good fight, and to save the person she loved most, even from herself.

            At the diner Alex slouched in her seat and stared guiltily at the table.  “I am so sorry,” she said.  “Shana, I’m sorry I ruined your birthday.”

            Shana sighed.  “Alex, it’s not ruined.  We can still have fun.  So, cheer up!”

            Alex looked around at all the prying eyes.  “This isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you said we’d go out.   I’m so, so sorry.”

            “No, Alex, don’t worry about it, it’s fine,” she said, but in the back of her mind she could hear her parents: Alex is a loser, a failure, she won’t amount to anything, and she’ll just drag you down.  It was true, Alex had strayed, was drowning, she had been for years.

            Regardless, Shana refused to run away.  Whatever else Alex was, Shana knew she was a good person, and Shana was proud that they were best friends.  She loved her dearly, and she would continue to love her forever, through the good times and the bad, for better or for worse, until death and beyond.

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 12th step...Crossroads

12^th step…Crossroads

            There was a grocery store in Sadieville where all of the college students went.  It was small and dirty, and the selection was limited, but the prices were affordable and it was within walking distance of the school.  Nearly everyone shopped there, especially the students in the dorms, so it was inevitable that they would meet.

            Despite this inevitability it still felt like a shock when Ellen ran into Carolyne.  Ellen viewed Carolyne was Alex’s rebellious friend.  Somehow, she always assumed the other girl would have some sort of grudge against the store, but there really weren’t any other options.

            When their carts bumped, tensions flared.  Ellen looked at Carolyne, and Carolyne looked back, and both were quiet for a bit.  Then Ellen stammered and said, “Oh, Carolyne, hey!”

            “Hi.”

            Silence. 

            “…What’s going on with you?”

            “Just shopping.  I needed cigarettes and other things.”

            Ellen spied the pads in the cart.  “I feel for you, girl.”

            Carolyne grimaced.  “Anyway, how is Alex doing lately?”  She asked as if it were an afterthought.

            “She’s fine, for the most part.  She’s been dragging around a bit more than usual, but aside from that everything is normal.  Why do you ask?”

            For a brief moment, Ellen thought Carolyne looked guilty, and then she assumed it was a trick of the light.  “Just asking,” Carolyne said.  “We haven’t spoken much lately.”

            “I noticed.  What happened? You two were—"

            “People grow apart.” 

            Just like that the subject was closed and the tension returned.  Unsure of what else to do, Ellen did the only thing she could think of.  She touched Carolyne’s arm and smiled reassuringly.  “Well, you’re always welcome in our room.  Remember that.”

            Carolyne shied away from the touch.  “Thanks, I guess.”

            “No problem.”

            Carolyne adjusted her cart.  “I have to go.”  She paused. “Take care of Alex, though, would you?”

            “Of course, I will. And you don’t be a stranger, okay?”

            “I won’t,” Carolyne said, and Ellen couldn’t tell if she was lying.

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 11th step...Polarities

11^th step…Polarities

            There they sat in the cafeteria, only two things in common.  Firstly, they were both blondes.  Secondly, they were both waiting for Alex.  One was taller and fleshier, her frame being quite shapely despite her youth.  The other was slight, looking almost like a fairy.

            “So,” Shana said.  She sat cross-legged, her back straight, her posture perfect.  Her dislike was clear, but she still made effort to be open and inviting, if for nothing else to make it less awkward.

            “So,” Carolyne mimicked curtly.  She sat with her body pointed away and made her dislike apparent.  She waved her foot anxiously.

            “You were planning on hanging out with Alex tonight?”

            “Yup.”

            “Me too,” Shana said, and she laughed politely, as if it were funny how they competed for Alex’s time.  “Though, that was probably a little obvious, huh?”

            Carolyne’s lips curled.  “It was more than a little obvious.”

            Shana became quiet and shifted uneasily in her seat.  She glanced around the cafeteria.  All of the tables were empty.  The kitchen was closed, and she could see tired employees preparing for supper.  Outside the sky was pale.  Snow was coming.

            Shana uncrossed and re-crossed her legs a few times.  Then, when the tension was too much, she said, “I probably shouldn’t have come up today, it being a school day and all,” and she laughed away her anxieties.  “But, today is the anniversary, you know?  So, I wanted to spend it with her.”

            Carolyne twisted her brow and gave a sideways glance.  “Anniversary?”

            “You…You don’t know?”  She seemed honestly surprised, and Carolyne shook her head. Shana did too.  “Ten years ago today, Alex lost her older sister.  She never really recovered.”

            Now Carolyne shifted in her seat, and she looked at the ground.  For a while they were quiet.  The words were weighty and required time.  Then, after processing it, Carolyne lifted her head and said, “I see.”

            Alex’s class let out, and she came around the corner.  Seeing them both, she waved and put on a strained smile.  Shana stood, becoming suddenly animated, and waved back.  “So, I decided,” she said through a smile, “That I am going to give her a lot of good memories on this day to make up for it.”

            Once Alex was close enough Shana promptly snatched her up in a hug.  She barely let go for the rest of the night.

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 10th step...Stink

10^th step…Stink

            The clouds clung to the sky like white sea foam.  Two young women sat in a greasy, run down diner, writing quietly as people chatted around them.  Their table was dirty and littered with scraps of notebook paper and broken pencils.

            One of the girls was slight in every way, from her diminutive body, to her flat chest, to her short, boyish hair.  Only her eyes were large, and they shined like emerald gems.  She wrote chaotically, with short, disjointed imagery.

            The other girl was larger and hunched in her seat.  Her skin was colored like dry-dirt and her hair mud.  She had broad hips and carried a bit of extra weight in her middle, and her writing was more focused but lacked energy.

            As they wrote a plump waitress waddled over and offered them a gap-toothed smile.  She set down two drinks: a coffee for slight and a glass of water for hips.  “Can I get ya’ll anything else?”

            Slight stirred her coffee—just a bit of sugar—and glanced at hips.  “One bagel, please,” she said, smirking, knowing it wasn’t her ticket.  The waitress scribbled it down before any protest could be made and shuffled away.

            Hips looked across the table and sighed.  “That’s it.  We’re over.”

            Slight took hip’s hands and tugged on them playfully.  “No, we can’t be.”

            Deep down hips knew slight was right.  No matter what happened they were connected, bound by some sort of invisible string that tied them together.  No matter how hard she scrubbed, they were stuck together like stink on…

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 9th step...Pillow Talk

9^th step…Pillow Talk

            Shana came from a rich background.  Her family was good blood, smart, well-to-do, high class, and they had high expectations for her.  She was the oldest of two daughters, and she was the apple of her parents’ eyes.  Then Alex came into the picture, and Shana quickly became a problem.

            They disliked Alex from the moment they met her, but they never interfered directly.  Alex was allowed frequent visits and spent the night often, and she never heard a word of their complaints.  When she stepped into the Laeder house everyone was friendly with her, if a bit cold.

            More often than not, Alex spent most visits lazing in Shana’s bed.  Once Shana asked why, and Alex shrugged and did her best to explain.  “It feels safe, I guess.  Reminds me of a time when I was young.  I saw this spider, it was a big thing, size of my fist, at least, and I swear it was just staring at me.  I got so scared that I ran out of my room, went to Al’s room.  She came in to take care of it, and poof, it was gone.  She tried to put me back to bed, but I was a kid, and I was still scared, so she let me stay with her.  Slept there the entire week, and would’ve stayed longer if she hadn’t put her foot down.”

            As Alex spoke, she gifted Shana with a rare smile.  She often had them when remembering her sister, and they were always followed by a long, lingering melancholy.

            It had become habit for them, almost ritual.  Whenever Alex spent the night they curled up in bed early and watched movies or gossiped, and would lied together, side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder, and they wasted the night away.  It was one of Shana’s favorite things, and she couldn’t imagine her life without it.

            When Alex went away to college these quiet moments together became infrequent.  They still spent time together, but it wasn’t the same.  Alex was distracted.  She had bigger things on her mind, and Shana felt out of place.

            They finally got the chance during Alex’s second semester.  It was shortly after Alex’s birthday, and it was a cold night, perfect for one of their slumber parties.  Shana rented movies but wasn’t even sure if they would watch them.  They gathered their blankets, dressed in jammies, and curled up on the bed.

            Halfway through the first movie Alex slumped over and rested her head on Shana’s shoulder.  They sat in silence as the movie played quietly in the background.  Shana combed her fingers gently through Alex’s hair.

            Alex was often distant, aloof, but Shana saw through it.  She looked through the mask of apathy and saw the way Alex shined and the potential she held.  The second semester left Alex looking exhausted and worn.  Earlier that night she had told Shana detailed stories about her big life on campus, detailed lies.  Shana saw through those, too, and felt hurt by each one.  Normally, Alex would confide in her, but something between them was changing.

            Shana wouldn’t let it.

            She waited Alex out, petting her hair.  They were alone in the safety of her room, in the comfort of her bed, and most importantly, they were together.  Shana wouldn’t pressure or pry.  She would wait; she had become a master over the years.

            Alex sighed, a hint of a smile playing across her face.  She leaned more heavily into Shana, and then the smile broke.  She shifted, falling into Shana’s bosom and sobbing uncontrollable.

            Shana held her and patted her back and kissed her forehead, and she whispered that it was all okay.  Eventually, Alex looked up her with big, dark eyes, wet with tears, and Shana tucked her hair back, smiled, and said, “Tell me about your day, dear.”

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 8th step...Coup de Théâtre

8^th step…Coup de Théâtre

            Alex’s nineteenth birthday was a sad joke.  It started poorly and seemed determined to end with a flourish.  By nightfall she was alone in her room, lying in her bed in the dark, nursing a stomach ache, and all she could think was why she had to choose that specific day to be sick.

            The flu wasn’t her only problem though.  The night before had been plagued with awful dreams.  She heard strange voices calling out to her in the dark.  When she first woke it was in a fright.  Then the nausea set in.  Classes that day only made it worse.

            Carolyne, who should have been a high point, was instead the killing blow.   For a while they lounged in Carolyne’s room, in Carolyne’s bed, doing and talking about nothing.  Uncharacteristically, Carolyne petted Alex’s hair and almost seemed to worry over her.

            Then it hit.  Alex sat up, stumbled forward, and narrowly made it out of the room and into the bathroom before she spewed.  What came out of her mouth didn’t look natural and only made her feel worse.  She watched it swirl in the toilet as it drained away and then rested against the stall to steady her feet.

            After that Carolyne refused to open the door.  Apparently, she had a fear of vomiting, and so she would have nothing to do with it.  Thus, Alex was turned away from the last hope of a happy birthday and relegated to a night spent alone and in pain.

            After a few minutes she fell asleep, and she woke to the light coming on.  She thought to say something but was quickly silenced by Shana bounding into the room.  “Alex is going to be so surprised,” Ellen said as she closed the door.  “She hasn’t seen you for weeks.”

            Shana smiled and set her things on the floor.  “I’ve missed her.”  She glanced around the room.  “Think I should hide somewhere before you go get her?  That way it can be an even bigger surprised.”

            Though tickled by the situation, Alex couldn’t help but feel a little guilty.

            “That’s a great idea.  You could probably squeeze in between the dressers beneath the bed,” Ellen said.  She grunted and yanked one to the side to create an opening.  “Right in here.   Okay, while you do that, I’ll go get Alex.”

            “Where do you think she is,” Shana asked.  She was already halfway into hiding.

            “With Carolyne, I assume.  You get comfortable, and I’ll be right back.”

            Ellen left the room with the light on, and Shana got situated.  Once the room had settled Alex found herself listening to Shana’s breathing.  A few seconds passed before Alex’s guilt got the better of her and she said, “Shana?”  Her guilt doubled when Shana hit her head on the bottom bunk.

            “…Alex?  You were here the entire time, weren’t you?”

            “Yeah…”

            Shana sighed heavily, and Alex could almost feel her frowning.  “Well, that sucks.”

            “No,” Alex said.  “No, seeing you is still a wonderful gift.”

            In that moment Alex knew Shana’s frown had immediately turned into a smile.  “Then, awesome!”

            The door opened and Ellen stepped back into the room. “Okay, I’m not going to lie, I couldn’t find her.  Carolyne said she left, and no one else has seen her.”

            Shana broke out into a fit of boisterous laughter, and even Alex managed a smile.

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 7th step...Harbinger

7^th step…Harbinger

            A man stood alone on the bridge leading up to the cathedral.  It overlooked the deep canyons cut from sienna stone.  Twilight stretched out, a long dark veil eclipsing the sky.   In the distance an enormous tree swallowed the horizon.

            The cathedral itself was an imposing backdrop.  It was tall, with angular roofing and large, pointed spires.  On the face of it was a large, oval stained-glass window.  It held the image of an angel who slept, a sword clutched tight to its breast.  Below a set of enormous double-doors, each twice as the height of a man, sat ajar.

            The man on the bridge was tall.  He had high cheeks, thin lips, and long, black hair that swept down his back.  His eyes were small, dark, and piercing, and his expression mournful as he gazed into the distance.  He wore a pristine white robe.  His imposing form gave him a natural air of authority.

            Riis came stalking across the bridge, a wolf prepared to strike.  Her steps were slow, precise, each thigh flexing dramatically.  A terrible, carnivorous smile stretched across her face.  She stopped at his side and put her hands on her hips.  “So, you need to waste more of my time, then?”

            The man spared her a weary glance.  “Indeed, I do.  I require you to fetch something for me.”  His voice is deep, chest-rattling, and world-worn.  While he looks young, his voice is old and fatigued.  “What we seek is in the black.  Retrieve it for me.”

            “Fine,” she snapped and turned on heel.

            “Riis.”  She paused, and he said, “I offer you a warning: there are people there who may interfere.  Be careful.”

            Without looking back Riis waved him off.  “I’ll just let them hope that we don’t come face to face.  Otherwise things will end poorly for them.”

            He offered her luck and let her leave.  As she walked away, she ran her fingers along the guardrail of the bridge.  The dark stone hollowed beneath her touched and collapsed into dust.

            She snickered.  “Oh, I won’t need luck.”

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 6th step...Speeding

6^th step…Speeding

            Alexandra Hughes was guilty of speeding.

            In the first week they spent all their time together.  They would go to the diner and discuss art, life, school, and a host of other things Alex didn’t really have opinions on.  In the quiet moments Alex felt a measure of contentment.  It reminded her of home and of better times.

            Two weeks passed and they kissed for the first time.  It wasn’t romantic.  They were in a crowded room, finding privacy in a corner.  Despite the chaos surrounding them, Alex was wrapped in silence.  They stared into each other’s eyes, and their lips met.  Many kisses followed but that was mattered the most.

            Four weeks later, Alex gave her virginity to a girl she hardly knew.  In the aftermath she laid in silence, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness.  Carolyne slept at her side.  Nothing was different and nothing had changed.  The next day the world kept spinning, no course adjustments made.

            Within a month it was over.  Deep down Alex always knew it was inevitable, that they would spark big and burn out quickly, but denial was a powerful drug.  It was for the best, even if she denied that, too.  Sometimes, when crying, she could remind herself that to lose something, you had to have it in the first place.

            Still, denial couldn’t protect her from one harsh truth: she was guilty of speeding, and someday life would catch up to her.

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 5th step...Likes and Dislikes

5^th step…Likes and Dislikes

           

            “Ah-hah! I figured it out,” Ellen said.  It was late Saturday night, and instead of partying or socializing Ellen cleaned the room while Alex lied in bed and stared at the ceiling.  She blurted this out suddenly in the middle of cleaning the sink.  “You like her,” followed shortly after with the accompaniment of an accusatory finger point.

            Alex tilted her head and looked down with precise stoicism.  “I do not.  She’s just a friend.”

            Ellen smiled, her eyes aglitter.  “Please, I see how you look at her.”  She clasped her hands to her chest.  “You should tell her how you feel!”

            “No, I shouldn’t, because there’s nothing to tell.”

            “Oh, don’t be like that, Alex!”  Ellen went back to the sink, but that didn’t stop her from continuing the conversation.  It was mostly to keep her energy under control.  “It’s simple enough.  Just go up to her and say, ‘Hey, I want some boobage, and you’ve got boobage.  So, let me have it!’”

            That managed to make Alex blush.  Embarrassed and annoyed, she flung her pillow down at Ellen, who caught it with her face.  “You are so obnoxious! I don’t freaking like her, okay?  So just drop it!”

            Ellen stopped washing the sink.  Alex avoided eye contact now, and silence fell over the room.  They remained stationary for a few seconds.  Then, quite earnestly, Ellen asked, “Alex, is there someone you do like?”

            “No, not in the least.”

            “Is it me?”  Ellen eyed her suspiciously for a brief second.  “It’s okay if it is.  I mean, I would say no, but I’d be flattered.  Wouldn’t bother me in the least.”

            Alex looked disgusted.  “As if.”

            “Really?  What about Carolyne, then?”

            Now, Alex looked anything but innocent.  “No!”

            Ellen smirked.  “So, I was right from the start.  It’s Shana!”

            Groaning, Alex fell back on to her bed and hid beneath the covers.  “Is there any way to shut you up?”

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 4th Step "Kiss, Kiss, Kiss"

4^th step…Kiss, Kiss, Kiss

            There are many occasions in which a kiss is welcome.  Kisses for terrible boo-boos are a necessity for children, as are kisses for the wounded heart.  Kisses shared between lovers serve as a reminder, and kisses of passion can mean many things.   Kisses can be thanks you and helloes, and in some cases, they can even be saved for good-byes.

            The kiss Alex put on Shana’s cheek was ambiguous.  It meant a many different things, none of which she would ever be brave enough to say.  So, instead she just said, “I’ll see you later,” and she closed the car door and waved as Shana drove off.

            Once Shana was out of sight Alex joined Carolyne, who was smoking at the picnic table.  Carolyne scoffed through the cloud of blue smoke gathering about her form.

            Alex eyed her wearily.  “What?”

            Carolyne crossed her legs and turned away.  She took a long drag on her cigarette.  “Nothing, I just don’t like that girl.”

            “Well, tough, because I do,” Alex huffed.  She crossed her arms for good measure.

            Carolyne shrugged.  “Whatever, Pocahontas.”

            That was Alex’s nickname, given by Carolyne herself.  It was in reference to Alex’s Native American heritage, which was apparent in her skin-tone and bone-structure.  Alex didn’t dislike the name, though at times she found it patronizing.

            In the context of the situation it earned a glare.  “What is the hell is your problem?”

            “Nothing,” Carolyne replied absently, staring out at the fields.  She took another drag and held it before saying, “I don’t have any problems.”  She let the smoke hang in the air for a moment.  “She’s just dumb is all.  Very, very, dumb.”

            “She has perfect grades.  She always has.  She’s even in advanced classes!”

            “So?  Grades don’t mean much of anything. She’s still dumb.”

            Alex sighed as she fell into defeated irritation.  “Sometimes you’re just unbearable.  If you have something to say, just say it.”

            Carolyne grinned.  “I already told you, I don’t have anything to say.  You have your friends, and I’m happy for you.  Even if they’re dumb.”

            Alex rolled her eyes.  “You’re a pain in the ass,” she said, and she gave Carolyne an ambiguous kiss to keep.  “Pixie.”

            Carolyne kissed her back, but her intentions were clearer.  “Pocahontas.”

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 3rd Step "Lies, Secrets, and Toenail Polish"

3^rd step…Lies, Secrets, and Toenail Polish

            It had been years since Alex last wore makeup.  As with most things in life, she just didn’t care enough.  Whenever her parents or anyone else said anything, she did what she always did.  She hid.

            It was one thing she expected Ellen to share.  Based on their brief conversation at the diner, Alex would never have thought Ellen would be into something like cosmetics.  So, when Ellen didn’t just ask, but harassed Alex into being painted up it came as something of a surprise.

            Annoyed but learning quickly how Ellen worked, Alex gave in early on.  It was easier to placate her roommate with small favors than to fight over something so harmless.  So, she suffered silently as Ellen enjoyed herself.

            Ellen caked on a few layers, careful to accentuate not overpower.  She was about to do more but had enough grace to stop when she noticed Alex sulking.  “Okay, we’re done,” she said after appraising her work.  She went to fetch a mirror.

            “I don’t want to see it.  I just want to wash my face and go to sleep.”

            “But there’s still more to do!”

            “There can’t be.  You said you were done.  Besides,” Alex said, pointing to her own face.  “You’ve put a pound of makeup on me.  There’s concealer, eye-liner, mascara, lip stuff and…Hell, there’s stuff I don’t even recognize.”  She turned away.  “We’re done.”

            “The toes, then we’ll quit!”

            Alex glared back at her.  Then, when she saw Ellen’s face, she relented.  What was a chore for one meant the world to the other. 

            Alex turned and hugged one leg while extending the other.  She sulked as Ellen settled with the polish.

            “What’s the point? No one is going to see my toes.”

            “It doesn’t matter if people see it.  It’s still cute.”

            “It’s stupid.”

            “Oh, you’re no fun,” Ellen said with a pout.  “Other foot, please.”

            Alex sighed and switched legs.  Ellen went to work.

            “You know, your feet are shaped kind of funny.”

            Alex flashed an irritated glance.  “So is your face.”

            Silence settled in.  Ellen put a first coat on Alex’s right foot and considered going back to the left.  Meanwhile, Alex struggled with her emotions and how best to hide them.  So far, she thought she was doing well.

            “Left again,” Ellen said, and then without looking up she asked, “What’s wrong, Alex?”

            Sometimes, Alex was awed by Ellen.  She hugged her leg tight and hid behind her hair.  “Nothing.”

            “Come on, Alex, be honest.  Are you really that angry because I’m painting your toenails?”

            “No.”

            “Then quit being a baby and tell me what’s wrong.”  Ellen set the polish aside and made eye contact.

            Alex groaned.  “I….”  She hugged her leg tighter.

            “You?”

            “I lied to you about something.  Well, it wasn’t really a lie, it was…”

            “It was what, Alex?”  She seemed more concerned than upset and also very cautious.

            “Well, I do have a sibling. Or had.”

            “Had?  What do you mean?”

            “She died a few years back.”

            Ellen went silent.  She just lied on her stomach, wide-eyed and dumbfound.  Then she picked up the nail polish and went back to work.  “Sorry.”

            Alex looked up the ceiling and sniffled.  “Don’t be, it’s not your fault.  Anyway, she used to do stuff like this with me when I was a kid.  Just reminded me of that.”

            “Want me to stop?”

            “No, you can keep going.”

            Ellen hummed and continued her work.  She didn’t look up until Alex had to switch feet again.  Even then, she kept mostly to herself.  In the silence Alex thought about a thousand things.  She wanted to open up, bare it all, but she couldn’t.  There was a wall between them. Alex thought there always would be.

            After wrestling with it for a few minutes Alex said, “Ellen, there’s something else.”

            “Yes?”

            “I’m…I’m a lesbian.”

            “Oh?  That’s cool.”  Ellen finally looked up, wearing one of her signature smiles.  “I’m not.”

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 2nd Step "Carolyne-Ah!"

2^nd step…Carolyne-Ah!

            Sadieville Community College was nicer than Alex had originally thought.  She wasn’t the observant type and, normally, she just passed through rooms without taking stock, but when she locked her key inside of her dorm room one day, she had to wait in the commons for Ellen to return.  It was larger than she remembered, with a high ceiling and a stairway leading to the upper halls.  Two couches were set in a V on the first floor, both pointed at the big screen television mounted on the wall.  An empty bookshelf was on the far wall for decoration.

            It was early enough in the morning that no one else was out there to bother her, which was a small comfort.  The idea of interacting with total strangers made lunch with Ellen seem palatable.

            Alex hoped that Ellen would return soon.  Their classes started roughly around the same time, so she assumed Ellen would return at the shortly. When Ellen did return, Alex had every intention of returning to her room and sleeping until the evening without having to talk to anyone for hours.  Unfortunately for her, plans have a way of going awry, and all of her fears came true in the form of a petite woman with short blond hair and large green eyes.

            “You have beautiful hair,” the woman said in a voice that made Alex think of fog on water.  She had a boyish appeal and a silky smile.  She wore earth-tones, dark greens and browns.  A large bag hung over her shoulder, nearly to the ground.

            There was something about this girl, something Alex couldn’t quite explain.  The sight of her made Alex’s heart pump fast and hard in her chest.  “Leave me alone,” Alex meant to say, but it came out as, “Uh…Thanks.”

            The woman stepped in.  She reached into her bag and produced a hair brush.  Her fingers were small, delicate.  Alex stared.

            “Mind if I mess with it for a while,” the woman asked.

            Not trusting her mouth, Alex just nodded.

            “Hell yeah,” the woman said triumphantly, and she did a mellow little victory dance before settling beside Alex. “By the way, I’m Carolyne.”

            Alex turned her back to Carolyne.  She could smell something on the girl, something she would later find was called patchouli.  It was spicy and strong, and Alex liked it immediately.

            Carolyne brushed her hair.  It felt nice and safe, reminding her of time spent with Shana, of home.  It was a bittersweet moment where her heart wanted to let go but she wouldn’t let it. 

            “So, what’s your name?”

            There was something about Carolyne, something alluring.  Alex wanted her privacy, yet she settled in on the couch, made herself comfortable.  Without thinking, she responded. “Alex.”

            “Alex? Cool name.”

            “Uh, thanks.”

Indigo: Abraham, Preceding the Storm 1st Step "Roommate"

Indigo

: Preceding the Storm :

1^st step…Roommate

3:30 pm:

            Alex arrived at the dormitory in the afternoon.  Despite the heat of the summer sun she dressed in all black.  In this instance she wore a black tee and a billowing black shirt.  Her thick, dark hair was draped over her face like a mask as she slouched from point to point.

            Shana accompanied her, being kind enough both to drive her there and help her move in.  It didn’t take too long; Alex didn’t have much.  Her room was directly across from the entrance, which made for a short trip.  The number on the door read ‘405.’

            Ten minutes after arrival Alex was alone in her room staring at the walls.  The room was small and square.  It had a bunkbed against one wall, a shared wardrobe, and two work desks.  A small sink was tucked in the corner.  There was a mirror above the sink and a mini-fridge next to it. Below the beds were two dressers, one for each student.

            The window gave her a view of the fields nearby.  She looked outside and watch Shana drive away.  It felt like the final nail.  Thus, Alex started her first year of college all alone.

3:50 pm:

            Alex unpacked.  She filled one dresser and made up the top bunk.  The wardrobe was partitioned down the center.  She took the left side, filling it with her things.  Then she chose the desk closest to the window and put her things on it.

            The door burst open, and a leaning tower of boxes came stumbling in.  The woman at the base of the tower was tall and blonde.  She had big blue eyes and long, long legs that she showed off with a pair of cut-off shorts.

            The door came swinging back and hit her as she staggered.  This sent her spinning and the boxes came tumbling down around her.  Alex watched impassively from the side of the room as the woman took her lone remaining box and set it on the desk and gave a huge sigh.

            She kneeled down and started stacking her boxes.  Most were filled with clothes.  While picking up, she looked at Alex and gave a smile so big that it consumed the lower half of her face.  “Hi there, you must be my roommate,” she said while setting some more things on the desk.  She held her out her hand.  “I’m Ellen Summers, it’s a pleasure to meet you!”

4:45pm:

            It took Ellen nearly an hour to get settled in.  She didn’t have any help and had to make more than a few trips.  Once everything was in the room, she wasted time chatting aimlessly about how excited she was to be in school and how much she looked forward to the year.  Alex sat, her back against the wall, and watched.

            Ellen brought a lot of clothes, so many that she had to leave some packed.  After she was done unpacking, the two discussed their living arrangements and any rules they might have.  This mostly consisted of Ellen pointing out where Alex put her things, and Alex agreeing that she did put her things there.

            “Okay, then I guess I’ll take everything else,” Ellen said cheerily.

            Once finished, Ellen finally took the chance to sit down.  Alex enjoyed the brief silence.  It lasted only until Ellen caught her breath.  Then, she insisted, rather loudly, on taking Alex out to eat.  Alex turned her down initially but gave in after five minutes of pleading.

5:00pm:

            They went to a small diner named “Greasy Ed’s.”  It was located at the edge of downtown, a few miles away from the campus.  It was a shack looking stout enough to survive a weak gust of wind at most.  The interior was dim and, true to its name, greasy.  Everything was red or yellow.  Tacky paintings shared wall-space with an assortment of knick-knacks.

            They found a booth looking out a window and they sat across from each other, Alex staring out at the road and looking bored, Ellen wondering exactly what the stain on the table was and if she should take the time to try and wipe it up.

            Their waitress was a hefty woman with a mole and a handful of missing teeth.  It took her a few minutes to notice them.  When she did, she waddled over and took their drink orders.  Ellen wanted a coffee.  Alex ordered water.

            They sat in silence until their drinks arrived.  Ellen tried hard not to stare and instead kept glancing in Alex’s direction.  Alex successfully ignored her.

            “So,” Ellen said as she stirred her coffee.  She glanced again.  Alex still hadn’t moved. “Do you live around here?”

            “About thirty minutes away, in a small town.  You wouldn’t know the name.”

            “I might, try me!”

            “I’d rather not.”

            “Oh,” Ellen said.  She added some sugar to her coffee and continued to stir.  “Do you have any siblings?”

            “Nope,” Alex said absently.

            Ellen gave a big smile and a laugh that suited a mother rather than a college girl.  “Same with me, I’m an only child, too.  What’s worse, I’m the product of two only children, and let me tell you, my parents hate it.  They’re so afraid that the family name will end with me. I suppose it makes sense, after all, I’m a girl.”

            She stopped stirring and set the spoon to the side.  Staring into her coffee, she grabbed the mug tightly and sipped.  Then she forced a smile back onto her face and said, “They keep insisting that a man can’t take a woman’s name, but I figure I’m a new age kind of lady.  If I want my man to take my name, by God as my witness, he will.”  She looked at Alex expectantly and, when the social obligation to respond went unmet, added, “I mean, I don’t even know if I’m going to marry anyway.  Know what I mean?”

            Alex shrugged and sipped her water.  Cars zipped by outside.

            “Alex?  Right?”

            Finally, Alex turned her head and looked at Ellen.  She nodded, and then promptly looked back out the window.   Ellen flexed her hand nervously and wondered if Alex was shy or rude.  She took a deep breath.

            “Listen, Alex, I thought about this a lot before I came up to the school.”  Alex looked at her again, and Ellen put on another big, award-winning smile.  “See, I don’t want to be roommates who are just sort of there.  The kind who don’t speak and aren’t really friends, they just live together.  So, I was thinking that we should be pals.”  She paused and offered her hand for the second time that day.  “So, what do you say?  Friends?”

            At first Alex seemed disinclined, but she went along anyway.  Ellen was bubbly and perhaps a bit strange, but she wasn’t a bad person.   They shook hands and Alex said, “Friends.”

            Ellen’s smile broadened, became real, and she whooped with joy. “Friends?  Great!  Cool!  Awesome! Great!”