13th step…Forever
Shana’s
seventeenth birthday did not go as planned.
To start, her parents weren’t happy about Alex coming over. They were even less happy that the two were
going out, and they kept warning Shana how poor she looked in Alex’s company. They reminded her how unmotivated Alex was
and warned Shana how she would be pulled down by such dead weight.
Some of
their criticisms stung, especially the ones that were true. Alex did have a way of stumbling through
life, and Shana genuinely feared for her friend’s future. Even then, she didn’t care where Alex’s road
led her. They were friends, and deep
down her parents were only worried about their own reputations.
That is why
she left, draped in a beautiful black dress.
It stopped at her ankles and flowered when she spun. Her curves were accentuated, and her waist
slimmed. A little bit of makeup and a
mountain of blonde curls completed the look.
This was
before Alex left for college. It was in
the early summer. Shana stopped by Alex’s
house and picked her up. Of course, Alex
didn’t have anything to wear, so she just threw together a black t-shirt and
jeans. She had looked the same since age
nine. Her apathy hurt, but Shana still
smiled.
They went
out of town, not to Sadieville, but to the big city. Shana’s parents had told her about a
restaurant they had gone to on one of their outings. It was French, and it sounded decadent. They were refused at the door. Shana dropped her father’s name, and they
reconsidered. She could come in, but
Alex would have to wait outside.
Guiltily,
Alex told her to go ahead and have fun, but this time, Shana refused. “I’m spending my birthday with you,” she said
firmly, and blowing a raspberry at the hostess, she took Alex by the hand and
they left.
They ended
up in a small diner down the street. It
was wall-to-wall knick-knacks and grease.
They got stares. Now, Shana was
the one out of place now, but she didn’t seem to mind. Alex was there, and that was the important
part.
Shana and
Alex met when they were kids and were fast friends. Back then, Alex was full of energy, brutally
honest, and completely fearless. She had
a natural kindness and warmth that made her shine. She also had a sister who she never shut up
about. Shana used to get jealous.
Alicia’s
death had nearly killed Alex, and after the funeral she changed. It was like the sun had been stolen from her
world. Everything became black, bleak,
and lifeless. Her grades declined. Her social life depleted. Only Shana stayed, and she was determined to
endure the long night.
Year after
year Shana watched, waited, and nothing changed. Sometimes it felt hopeless, and then she
would glimpse one of Alex’s rare smiles, and when they were sincere, she would
see a glimmer. Hidden beneath all the
sorrow and all of the pain was hope.
Over time it became clear to Shana.
It was her duty as Alex’s best friend to stay, to fight the good fight,
and to save the person she loved most, even from herself.
At the
diner Alex slouched in her seat and stared guiltily at the table. “I am so sorry,” she said. “Shana, I’m sorry I ruined your birthday.”
Shana
sighed. “Alex, it’s not ruined. We can still have fun. So, cheer up!”
Alex looked
around at all the prying eyes. “This
isn’t exactly what you had in mind when you said we’d go out. I’m so, so sorry.”
“No, Alex,
don’t worry about it, it’s fine,” she said, but in the back of her mind she
could hear her parents: Alex is a loser, a failure, she won’t amount to
anything, and she’ll just drag you down.
It was true, Alex had strayed, was drowning, she had been for years.
Regardless,
Shana refused to run away. Whatever else
Alex was, Shana knew she was a good person, and Shana was proud that they were
best friends. She loved her dearly, and
she would continue to love her forever, through the good times and the bad, for
better or for worse, until death and beyond.
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