March 27, 2022

 Hello Internet,

I missed my update window yesterday.  I had the blog page open, and I found myself staring at it, unable to focus.

It is Spring Break this week, which means that we have nine days off from work including the weekends.  Return to work will be difficult and, following that return, we have no more scheduled holidays off for the rest of the school year.  With my anxiety high, I know this will be a struggle for me to finish, but I have two days scheduled to take off for medical reasons. One of them will be with Noodle to get an ultrasound of our little Kangaroo; the other is a mental health evaluation that I sorely need.

I have pretty severe Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and I say severe in that it is pervasive or affecting of my life.  I am always a little bit anxious, but I have certain triggers.  Recently, I've had a lot of social anxiety, which is strange because that was not one of my major triggers when I was younger.  These sorts of things change overtime.

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with Type II Bipolar Disorder.  After finishing my student teaching semseter last year and living two years without medication and uneven examples of symptoms, I've come to think it was a misdiagnosis based on other symptoms presenting in a way which my psychiatrist recognized as Bipolar.  That is to say, I think I have ADHD but went in asking about Bipolar, and so that is the rock we looked under.

ADHD is a strange mental health issue in that it's not necessarily mental health at all but neurodivergence.  From my understanding, it often exists with other comorbidities.  I wasn't diagnosed as a child.  My parents didn't look for it, and my school didn't ask about it because, when I was young at least, I was high performing enough, and when I got older, I simply dropped out.  Now as an adult, however, as I struggle to balance and keep track of things, I find it difficult to meet simple goals simply because I forget most of the goals that I have.  Student teaching and working in education as a whole are particularly difficult as organization is not my strong suit.

So far, the break has been long.  The weekend was exhausting, and today was a lot.  I will have a real break starting on Wednesday, which is something to look forward to.  Until then, I will coast.

RWS

P.S.

-Short Rest-

Books

0. Main: Pyramids by Terry Pratchett

1. Sun: (Manga) One Piece Vol. 76, Ch. 763: “Declaration of Humanity”—763 91%  (11—11)

Ruroni Kenshin Vol. 5, Act 39—39 100% (9—9)

Zombie Power 100%

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 2: Battle Tendency Vol. 4, Ch. 61: “The Bond that Binds Lisa Lisa and JoJo”—69 55% (12—20)

My Hero Academia Vol. 8, No. 63: “Yaoyorzu Rising”—71 0% (1—9)

Boruto Vol. 3, Ch. 8: “You’ll Need To Do It”—11 0% (1—4)

One-Punch Man Vol. 9, Punch 40: “The Man Who Wanted to be a Villain”—46.1 0% (1—11)

My Hero Academia: Vigilantes Vol. 4, Ch. 19: “Family”—26 0% (1—8)

2. Mon: (Fiction) Pyramids by Terry Pratchett 54% (194—358)

3. Tue: (YA) The Giver by Lois Lowry 0% (0—0)

4. Wed: (Non-Fiction) Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by Samin Nosrat (1—??)

5. Thu: (Reread) American Gods by Neil Gaiman

6. Fri: (DnD5e) Player’s Handbook by Wizards of the Coast (0–X)

7. Sat: (Fan Fiction) Final Fantasy: Fated bytinygaia Ch. 62% (32—50)

8. Squirrel: One Piece Vol. 17 Ch. 148—155

-View from the Cheap Seats by Neil Gaiman 26% (130—502)

Games

-:The Season of Square:-

0. Main: Chrono Trigger DS Reunion Ending

1. Sun1: Final Fantasy VIII 44% (24/55hrs)

Sun2: Final Fantasy IX 32% (17/54hrs)

Mon: Backlog

Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory 100%

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days 0% (0/34hrs)

Kingdom Hearts: RE:Coded 0% (0/26hrs)

3. Tue: DnD5e/Movie

4. Wed: Multiples

Chrono Trigger DS Reunion Ending 100%

Chrono Cross: Radical Dreamers Edition

5. Thu: Hell Night

6. Fri: Final Fantasy X-2 HD Remaster 0% (0/52hrs)

Final Fantasy X-2: Last Mission International HD 0/22hrs

7. Sat1: Main

Sat2: Xenogears 6% (4/66hrs)

-:Season of Square:- 

March 20–September 23

0. Main: Chrono Trigger DS Reunion Ending

1. Sun1: (Free Play) Final Fantasy IX 32% (17/54hrs)

Sun2: (JRPG) Final Fantasy VIII 44% (24/55hrs)

2. Mon: (Backlog) Breath of Fire 0% (0/30hrs)

3. Tue: DnD5e/Movie

4. Wed: (Multiples) Chrono Trigger DS Reunion Ending 19% (5/27hrs)

Dragon Age: Origins Kallian Tabris 14% (10/74hrs)

5. Thu: Hell Night

6. Fri: (Series) .hack//MUTATION 22% (23/50hrs(5/23hrs))

7. Sat: (Replay) Xenogears 6% (4/66hrs)

Shows

0. Main: Voltron: Legendary Defender

1. Critical Role: “The Final Chapter” 35% (131—141)

2. Funimation: Dragon Ball The General Blue Saga 42% 51—57 (6—12)

3. Owned: Firefly 14% (3—14)

4. Netflix: Moving Pictures Season 3 0% (1—6)

5. Online: Batman 36% (12—31)

6. Disney+: Marvel’s Agent Carter Season 1 0% (1—8)

7. Critical Role 7—17

Hawkeye 50% (4—6)

Movies: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

King’s Glaive: Final Fantasy XV

Godzilla: Edge of the Battlefield

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind