2024. Week XXXI

 Hello Internet,

I am nearing the end of Persona 3: Reload, which is good.  Before summer started, I had set two gaming goals: beat Persona 3: Reload and beat Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth.  I have already finished Rebirth and loved it, and I am now clearing Reload as I'm running out of time.

Both games were a lot, and both games came out within a month of each other.  They were my Christmas and Birthday gifts from last year, but they released in February.  I finished Rebirth either just before we or just after moved and am still reeling from it.  It was a good game.  Surprising. Fun.  There were choices made at the end that I didn't like, but I'd say that I overwhelmingly enjoyed the ending and felt like it elevated the entire three-game project.

Reload is longer and slower.  I've beaten the original game, Persona 3, before, and before Reload was released, I got very, very far into Persona 3 Portable, which is one of the many versions of the game (though I was playing the female route in that game; Reload has no female route).  All of that said, it's getting a little taxing.  I'm only a few in-game days away from finishing the story, though, so I am putting my all into that.

I've been anxious about video games lately and have had a lot of FOMO surrounding them and other media.  I've spent a good chunk of my summer writing and rewriting lists to try and help me focus and bring me comfort, and when I do that, it takes away from the joy I have in those things.  It makes relaxation into a chore, and I feel it sapping the warmth and joy from things I typically enjoy.

I think a lot of it has to do with how stressful things have been lately.  Between Monkey's cancer and Kangaroo entering his terrible twos and school starting and Ratatoskr's, well, everything, I just feel pulled so thin.  I want to support everyone, and I don't want to be a burden or overwhelm anyone.  Noodle is always so busy trying to get every degree and trying to prove to herself her own worth, and I sometimes feel left out in the cold or stressed beyond comprehension.

As a result, relaxation becomes sacred, but instead of relaxing I'm just creating more turmoil and work for myself.  I am trying to fix that, but my Short Rests often feel like mad scrambles to everything in.  I've spent my entire life feeling like I was late to the party, and I still feel like that today.  

Noodle gave me some advice, and she told me that I am wonderful.  She has a refrain.  I'll say, "I want to be a good Jacob," and she will respond, "You're the best Jacob."  As silly and juvenile as it might sound, it does help.  I love her very much, and I know she loves me, and I appreciate that love.

Tomorrow is the start of a new week, and hopefully, I will beat Persona 3:Reload.  I guess you'll find out next Sunday.

Sincerely,

RWS

P.S.

-Short Rest-

1. Sun: Persona 3: Reload/Anime/DnD5e

2. Mon: She-Hulk/Stardew Valley

3. Tue: Archer/Write Night

4. Wed: Batman: The Animated Series/Dragon Age: Inquisition

5. Thu: YouTube Watch Later/Fortnite/Discworld: The Color of Magic

6. Fri: Fantasy High: Sophomore Year/The Legend of Zelda

7. Sat: Baldur's Gate 3/Critical Role Campaign 3, Part II/Movie?

2024. Week XXX.

 Hello Internet,

Life is difficult sometimes.  Even good lives.  I have a good life, and even still, I find it hard.

I have had to restart this post multiple times because my children want me.  My children are a blessing, and yet I resent the fact that I cannot express myself without distraction.  Without them, my life would feel so hollow and empty.  I know that for fact.  When Monkey was diagnosed with cancer, I faced that very real possibility and was gutted.

With them, I am always distracted and overwhelmed.  I love stories, and I want to impart that love to them.  I don't want them to grow up thinking that creativity is someone else's thing.  I want them to see me working and creating, and I want them to know that I take it seriously and that I am dedicated to it.  I want them to see me carve out time for it and hold that time sacred.

Raising children is antithetical to doing anything else.

Each night, after the children are in bed, I have two hours until I need to go to bed, too.  If I don't go to bed in two hours (and I often don't), I am exhausted the next day.  During those two hours, I have to spend time with Noodle if I want our relationship to heal.  During those two hours, I have to spend time alone if I am to heal.  During those two hours, I need to stuff a day's worth of cravitivity out or my brain begins to stagnate.  During those two hours, I have to relax my mind and give myself a break from all of the responsibilities that have had that day.

Then there are the dishes, and there is supper, and there are showers and work.  What there is never enough of is time.

Every day my body fails me more.

Death is too late to find healing.  

Part of why these journal entries fell off is that I don't always have answers.  Actually, I feel like I never do.  Answers are for people who have time to find them, but marching ahead with my head down against the rain is just leaving me soaked and exhausted.

I love my children. I have a good life, and I also have responsibilities and stress.  Everyone is trying their best.  If answers are wisdom just refined by time, then I'll find them eventually, won't I?

Sincerely,

RWS

P.S.

-Short Rest-

-Books-

I. Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by Samin Nosrat (02/18/2024)

-One Piece 1098

-One-Punch Man Punch 196

-DC Comics: New 52 Green Arrow: The Midas Touch

-My Hero Academia 157

-Boom! Studios: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers 4—4

-Boruto: The Next Generation 47

-Marvel Comics: Ultimates Ultimate Daredevil & Elektra 4

-JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders 26 100%

-One Piece 1106+

-One-Punch Man 196+

-DC Comics: New 52 Flash: Move Forward 8 (02/26/2024)

-My Hero Academia Vol. 18, 167 

-Boom! Studios: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Vol. 2, 8 (03/10/2024)

-Boruto: Next Generation Vol.13, 51 (03/14/2024)

-Marvel Comics: Ultimate Elektra 5 (03/22/2024)

II. Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by Samin Nosrat

III. Discworld/The Color of Magic

IV. One Piece 1111+ (04/01/2024)

-One-Punch Man 200+

-New 52/Captain Atom: Evolution 6 (04/13/2024)

-My Hero Academia Vol. 19, 177 (04/23/2024)

-Boom! Studios/Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers 12

-Boruto: Next Generation 55

-Marvel Ultimates/Ultimate Iron Man 3—5 (05/14/2024)

V. YA/The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Field Guide (07/15/2024)

VI. Personal Library/The Illiad

VII. One Piece 1114+

-DC/Planning

-One-Punch Man 200+

-Boom! Studios/Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: Lost Chronicles Vol. 1 (06/10/2024)

-My Hero Academia Vol. 20, 187—188 

-Marvel/Concept

-Boruto: The Next Generation Vol. 15, Ch. 59

-Hellboy: Seed of Destruction (07/01/2024)

-Soul Eater Vol. 1, Ch. 0—1

-Boom! Studio/Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Vol. 4, 16 (07/08/2024)

-Dandadan Vol. 1, Ch. 5 (07/16/2024)

-Final Fantasy: Fated Ch. 45

-Pokemon Adventures: Red & Blue Vol. 1, Ch. 3—14

VIII. YA/The Spiderwick Chronicles: 

-Games-

I. Final Fantasy VII REMAKE: Intergrade (02/05/2024)

II. Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth (06/14/2024)

III. Persona 3: Reload 84hrs

IV. Stardew Valley 93hrs

V. Dragon Age: Inquisition 96hrs

VI. Baldur's Gate 3 111hrs

VII. The Legend of Zelda 9hrs

VIII. Mass Effect: Andromeda 63hrs

-Shows-

I. Towers: Ms. Marvel 100% (01/20/2024)

II. Critical Role Campaign 3 Part I, Ep. 11: "Chasing Nightmares"—11 (Level Up to 5) (07/18/2024)

III. Dimension 20: A Crown of Candy (03/02/2024)

IV. Free/Power Rangers: Mystic Force

V. Disney: She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

VI. Hulu: Scrubs

VII. Max: DCAU/Batman: The Animated Series Season 1

VIII. YouTube: Watch Later

IX. Dimension 20 LIVE Presents Fantasy High: Sophomore Year Ep. 4—25 (S

X. Critical Role/Campaign 3, Part II Ep. 9—18 (Tiny Tina's Wonderland One-Shot)

2024. Week XXIX. "Late Start"

 Hello Internet,

Here is another infrequent update, though I suppose any words is better than no words.

Last week, I looked at the calendar and counted things out and realized how much of 2024 has already passed.  My summer break is almost over, and the school year is fast approaching.  As a teacher, even when we're on break, the school year is always at the back of our minds in a way that it simply wasn't for me when I was a student.  Almost nothing of my summer has looked the way I wanted, and yet I've still had good moments.

I went walking around town with on my own and with my family, and I saw some beautiful things.  I moved.  I beat Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth, and I think I might be closing in on Persona 3: Reload. I have written, though not as much as I wanted to, and I have some semblance of a schedule that I think will serve me in the school year.  I have a migraine right now, but I am writing this regardless, and afterward I will sit down and focus on something fun.

I got a late start to enjoying my summer, but that's okay, because it's never too late to start something fun.

Have a nice summer, and hopefully I'll see you next week.

Sincerely,

RWS

P.S.

-Short Rest-

-Books-

0. Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by Samin Nosrat (02/18/2024)

-One Piece 1098

-One-Punch Man Punch 196

-DC Comics: New 52 Green Arrow: The Midas Touch

-My Hero Academia 157

-Boom! Studios: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers 4—4

-Boruto: The Next Generation 47

-Marvel Comics: Ultimates Ultimate Daredevil & Elektra 4

-JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders 26 100%

-One Piece 1106+

-One-Punch Man 196+

-DC Comics: New 52 Flash: Move Forward 8 (02/26/2024)

-My Hero Academia Vol. 18, 167 

-Boom! Studios: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Vol. 2, 8 (03/10/2024)

-Boruto: Next Generation Vol.13, 51 (03/14/2024)

-Marvel Comics: Ultimate Elektra 5 (03/22/2024)

1. Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by Samin Nosrat

2. Discworld/The Color of Magic

-One Piece 1111+ (04/01/2024)

-One-Punch Man 200+

-New 52/Captain Atom: Evolution 6 (04/13/2024)

-My Hero Academia Vol. 19, 177 (04/23/2024)

-Boom! Studios/Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers 12

-Boruto: Next Generation 55

-Marvel Ultimates/Ultimate Iron Man 3—5 (05/14/2024)

3. YA/The Spiderwick Chronicles Vol. 1

4. Personal Library/The Illiad

-One Piece 1114+

-DC/Planning

-One-Punch Man 200+

-Boom! Studios/Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: Lost Chronicles Vol. 1 (06/10/2024)

-My Hero Academia Vol. 20, 187—188 

-Marvel/Concept

-Boruto: The Next Generation Vol. 15, Ch. 59

-Hellboy: Seed of Destruction (07/01/2024)

-Soul Eater Vol. 1, Ch. 0—1

-Boom! Studio/Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Vol. 4, 16 (07/08/2024)

-Dandadan Vol. 1, Ch. 5

-Final Fantasy: Fated Ch. 45

-Pokemon Adventures: Red & Blue Vol. 1, Ch. 1—14

-Games-

1. Final Fantasy VII REMAKE: Intergrade (02/05/2024)

2. Backlog II/Final Fantasy VII: Rebirth (06/14/2024)

3. Persona 3: Reload 84hrs

4. Stardew Valley 93hrs

5. Dragon Age: Inquisition 96hrs

6. Baldur's Gate 3 111hrs

7. The Legend of Zelda 9hrs

-Shows-

0. Towers: Ms. Marvel 100% (01/20/2024)

1. Critical Role Campaign 3 Part I, Ep. 11: "Chasing Nightmares"—11 (Level Up to 5) (Su)

2. Dimension 20: A Crown of Candy (03/02/2024)

3. DCAU/Batman: The Animated Series Season 1, Ep. 35—65 (M)

4. Animated/Archer Season 1, Ep. 1+ (Tu)

5. Anime/Beyblades Ep. 4—51 (W)

6. MCU/Marvel's She-Hulk: Attorney at Law 4—9 (Th)

7. Dimension 20 LIVE Presents Fantasy High: Sophomore Year Ep. 4: "Heartache on the Celestine Sea"—25 (Sa) 

8. YouTube: Watch Later (F)