Hello Internet,
Lately, I have been trying to put some real thought into the things I put online. I want my blog–all of my writing, really–to feel more professional than I am accustomed to. After all, the expressed purpose of this blog is for me to cultivate my talents as a writer and to chronicle my journey toward freelance writing or publishing, whichever comes first. I have check lists and plans, and I have clearly stated goals put before me with small stepping stones to lead my way toward them.
Then my daughter got sick, and everything changed.
My entire life came crashing into me. Like inertia as you put on the brakes. I got a phone call from our pediatrician that told me Monkey has leukemia and needed to be rushed to the ER that night, and my world stopped for just a bit, and everything went flying.
I am clearly still prioritizing my writing. I don’t think anything will ever take that away from me. I love writing. I love stories in all their shapes and forms, but writing is what I know and what I’m good at. But nothing makes you reprioritize like your children do.
Right now, as I am writing this, I am in the hospital room with her, fretting over her heartbeat and her blood oxygen levels, and while I am still taking the time to write (because she is resting, and she needs rest), I also cannot overemphasize how much my life has changed and how dearly I wish for her good health.
A few years ago, for NaNoWriMo, I wrote a story which had been on my brain for a while. It was a story about the end of one world and the birth of another. In the story, a young woman who was a god died. Her death represented my death, the death of my dreams, the death of my stories, to make room for other stories. Following her death, two new gods were born, those representing my daughters.
It was my way of killing my dreams to make room for a new dream, to make room for my family. With Kangaroo on the way, I’ve been burying myself into my writing and being regimented to the point of exhaustion. I keep adding stories for me to write. Since Monkey’s diagnosis, I’ve done more work around my house than I have in months if only because I was forced to put my money where my mouth is.
I will always write, and I will always love stories. I will always live them and breathe them and be them, and I will be blessed and fortunate to have that be how I pay bills. My daughters know that I write, and they ask me about my stories, and I will be blessed to have that be how they remember me. I will be even more blessed, however, if I don’t have to remember them. I love my family, and while the road ahead is long and arduous, I know that no time is better spent than fretting over the numbers.
Books
0. Main: The Giver by Lois Lowry
One Piece Vol. 88, Ch. 883: “Merienda”—889 10% (4—10)
1. Sun: Boruto Vol. 4, Ch. 15: “The Supporting Shadow!!!”-15 75% (4–4)
2. Mon: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba Vol. 2, Ch.15: “The Doctor’s Opinion”-16 78% (8–9)
3. Tue: Samurai 8: The Tale of Hachimaru Vol. 0, Ch. 0.1: “--” 0% (1—1)
4. Wed: My Hero Academia Vol. 9, No. 78: “Whirling Chaos”-80 67% (7–9)
5. Thu: One-Punch Man Vol. 10, Punch 49: “Cocky”-54.1 20% (3–10)
6. Fri: My Hero Academia: Vigilantes Vol. 4, Ep. 27: “Taking Care of Business”—35 0% (1–9)
7. Sat: (Fan Fiction) Final Fantasy: Fated bytinygaia Ch. 84% (43—50)
8. Squirrel: One Piece Vol. 17 Ch. 151—155
Reading Order:
-Fiction: Pyramids by Terry Pratchett 100%
-Library: Trans Medicine: The Emergence and Practice of Treating Gender by Stef M. Shuster 100% (–)
-YA: The Giver by Lois Lowry 32% (59–179)
-DnD5e: Player’s Handbook by Wizards of the Coast 0% (0–?)
-Non-Fiction: Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by Samin Nosrat 0% (0–?)
View from the Cheap Seats by Neil Gaiman 26% (130–502)
—Reread—
Games
0. Main: .hack//MUTATION
1. Sun1: God of War ?% (??/33hrs)/One Piece: Pirate Warriors 3 57% (20/35hrs)
Final Fantasy X-2 HD Remaster 29% (15/52hrs)
2. Mon: Omega Quintet 0% (0/47hrs) Just no.
Mass Effect 2 Jean Replay (Until Further Notice)
3. Tue: DnD5e
4. Wed: Dragon Age: Origins Kallian Tabris 14% (10/74hrs)
5. Thu: Movie
6. Fri: Shadow Hearts: Covenant
7. Sat: .hack//MUTATION 83% (36/50hrs(19/23hrs))
Xenogears 9% (6/66hrs)
Shows
0. Main: Batman: The Animated Series
1. Critical Role: Campaign 2: “Rebirth” 98% (139—141)
2. Anime: FLCL 0% (1—6)
3. Owned: Digimon: Adventure Myotismon Arc 0% 21–28 (1–8)
4. Netflix: Moving Pictures Season 3 17% (2—6)
Seven Deadly Sins Season 1 8% (3–24)
5. Disney+: Star Wars: Visions 56% (6–9)
6. HBO: Batman 71% (23–31)
7. Critical Role Campaign 2 15—17 82%
Moon Knight 17% (2–6)
Movies: Promare
Firefly 7% (2—14)
Starship Troopers
Dumbo
X-Men
Solo: A Star Wars Story
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