Hello Internet,
In a world that never seems to stop burning, I find it is difficult to keep the exhaustion at bay. Kangaroo is heavy in Noodle’s belly, and she is feeling it. When she isn’t resting, she is up and about making a nest. This is a normal part of the third trimester and, from everything we’ve read and been told, it means that we’ll have our little man home with us very soon.
Monkey had her first in-clinic round of chemo. She has ALL, and how that works is that so long as she is healthy, she is fine to be at home with us and take her normal medications. Right now, she is in what is called the induction stage of her treatment. Induction is about four to five weeks in length and is pretty intensive. She came home with steroids, anti-nausea medicines, and antibiotics, as well as a number of other pills and goes in once a week for chemo. Right now, her blasts are looking good and seem to have retreated back into her marrow, which puts her on track for the next stage of treatment.
Squirrel, meanwhile, is beside herself. She has been disagreeable, argumentative, and sensitive all day. I would say that this is a change of pace for her, but it isn’t really. I think there is a lot of change going on. With Kangaroo coming, Noodle being so tired, me being so busy, and Monkey being sick, she is feeling lonely. She has a friend in the neighborhood to play with but seems to have no interest in visiting and has been spending a lot of time alone in her room.
It is difficult because, as a parent, I need to take care of my mental health first before I can attend to her. Squirrel likely needs counseling of some sort but is reticent to take advice from anyone, especially us. She handled Monkey’s hospital visit well but has been struggling since she has come home. Today started rough and has only gotten rougher, ending with her crying in her room and me too emotionally exhausted to attend to her.
Between the two, Squirrel has always been the more high maintenance, and while she is still only a young child, she has the energy of a teenager. She is argumentative and defiant as a rule, so much so that everything is a battle. We try to pick and choose, but she has such big emotions she often has trouble regulating, especially at home. So, even if we’re not picking a fight, she will seek out the fight every time. An example: today I went to give her a sewing kit (she likes sewing), and she turned her back on me mid-conversation and, seated in her closet, closed the door on me while I was speaking to her. Then, later, she wanted to know where the kit was, and I informed her that I had put it away and would get it out for her another time since I was eating, which led to her going to her room to cry for a solid forty minutes.
My wife and I always try to meet her moods with assertive patience, not letting her be disrespectful, rude, or demeaning to us but also understanding that an angry Squirrel is rarely a rational Squirrel. It can be hard not to take things personal, but we all love each other and will see this through together.
For now, I’m just tired and doing my best to get my writing in where I can. The morning was long, and the day is almost over, none of which gives me comfort. I have a good family, though, and as I told my Noodle just last night: there is no one I would rather watch the world burn with.
Sincerely,
RWS
P.S.
Books
0. Main: The Giver by Lois Lowry
One Piece Vol. 92, Ch. 931: “Soba Mask”—931 90% (10—10)
1. Sun: Boruto Vol. 5, Ch. 18: “The Hand”-19 50% (3–4)
2. Mon: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba Vol. 3, Ch.21: “Tsuzumi Mansion”-25 4% (5–9)
3. Tue: Samurai 8: The Tale of Hachimaru Vol. 1, Ch. 4: “Family Argument”—6 50% (4—6)
4. Wed: My Hero Academia Vol. 10, No. 84: “From Ida to Midoriya”-89 33% (4–9)
5. Thu: One-Punch Man Vol. 10, Punch 54: “Pumped Up”-54.1 60% (9–10)
6. Fri: My Hero Academia: Vigilantes Vol. 4, Ep. 32: “The Job”—35 56% (6–9)
7. Sat: (Fan Fiction) Final Fantasy: Fated bytinygaia Ch. 90% (46—50)
8. Squirrel: One Piece Vol. 17 Ch. 156
Reading Order:
-Fiction: Pyramids by Terry Pratchett 100%
-Library: Trans Medicine: The Emergence and Practice of Treating Gender by Stef M. Shuster 100%
-YA: The Giver by Lois Lowry 100%
-DnD5e: Player’s Handbook by Wizards of the Coast 0% (0–?)
-Non-Fiction: Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat by Samin Nosrat 0% (0–?)
View from the Cheap Seats by Neil Gaiman 26% (130–502)
—Reread—
Games
0. Towers: .hack//MUTATION 74% (44/50hrs(17/23hrs))
1. JRPG: Final Fantasy X-2 HD Remaster 29% (15/52hrs)
2. Backlog: God of War ??% (??—33hrs)
3. DnD5e/Multiples: Dragon Age: Origins Kallian Tabris 14% (10/74hrs)
4. Comfort: Persona 5: Royal New Game+
5. Replay: Mass Effect 2 Jean Replay
6. Series: Xenogears 9% (6/66hrs)
7. Movie
Shows
0. Towers: Batman: The Animated Series
1. Critical Role: Campaign 2: “Long May He Reign” 99% (140—141)
2. Anime: FLCL 0% (1—6)
Digimon: Adventure Myotismon Arc 25% 23–28 (3–8)
3. Online/Owned: Archer Season 2 0% (1—13)
4. Netflix: Moving Pictures Season 3 67% (5—6)
Seven Deadly Sins Season 1 8% (3–24)
5. Disney+: Star Wars: Visions 89% (9–9)
6. HBO: Teen Titans Season 1 8% (2–13)
7. Movies: Firefly 14% (3—14)
Moon Knight 33% (3—6)
X-Men
Promare
Castle in the Sky
Solo: A Star Wars Story
Dumbo
Starship Troopers
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