Indigo: Abraham, Emotion Vol. 3: Bridges, Chapter Eleven: "The Island, part three"

 

Volume Three: Bridges

 

Oh, we burned those bridges,

Oh, and we forgot their names

 

Chapter Eleven: The Island, part three

 

            Shana sat in the dark, holding Alex and watching her sob.  After all of this time spent fighting, after every struggle and lesson learned, Shana felt useless.  For the past ten years she has done everything she could to drag Alex along after her, but in the moment when Alex needed her most, the best she could do was hold her and watch.

            It hurt, and it scalded, and worst still, Alex’s Voice watched, too.  As Shana understood it, a person’s Voice was a part of them, it was their soul, maybe a small fraction of them, but still one so vital.  She began glaring at Alex’s Voice, from time-to-time, mostly as something to do to pass the time.

            Her own Voice had helped her when lost, Shana remembered.  It guided her to Alex, helped her to help a friend, but Shana thought it was fitting that Alex wouldn’t be able to help herself, or at least wouldn’t want to.  Alex lived only for other people.  It could have been admirable, if it weren’t so sad.

            I want to help her, Alex’s Voice said suddenly, its tone shifting like the shadows.  But I can’t.  It isn’t my place.  This is something she must overcome herself before we can speak again.  She is at a distance from herself, fragmented and separated inside.  When the whole isn’t united, neither am I, and until she can achieve balance, she will be unable to access my true potential.

            Shana sighed.  She didn’t like it, but she figured the Voice was right.  Alex was strong, stronger than she realized, but Shana still worried.  A Voice, the projection of a person’s will, is intention made real.  It is difficult to harness that power when someone has no intentions of their own, when their own will has withered away.  The Voice, Shana realized, is no more capable of helping Alex than she is.  Both were impotent.

            So, she hugged Alex tighter and waited.  It was comforting to think that she could at least be there for her, and she hoped that somewhere in her nightmares, Alex could feel her warmth and know that even when she is alone, she’s never actually alone.

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex stared at the ghostly image of her past, dark eyes wide with shock, small mouth parted as she begged for an explanation.  Her parents stood there, ineffectual shades staring at the body that was their eldest child.  Beyond rest Alicia, or what was Alicia, skin pale, tawny hair fanned about her.

            She was sitting up, back to the door, holding herself and sobbing still.  Blood ran where she bit her lips, but she hardly felt it.  Periodically, she wiped her tears away, but she couldn’t stop staring.  It had taken everything she had in her to look again, and it would take more to look away.

            “What’s going to happen to her now,” Alex asked, now a little girl, sobbing at her parent’s feet.  “What’s going to happen to me?”  She came near, staggering away from her parent’s statue-like stillness and toward her future self.  They looked very much the same, eyes bloodshot, bodies shaking.  They were the same, because they knew the truth but refused to accept it.

            Alex hugged herself tight and pretended like Shana was there.  She pretended that she felt the other woman’s warmth in the darkness and, when she blinked, she told herself Shana was there, just outside the door, waiting for her.  It was impossible, and she knew that, but it still gave her comfort.

            “Please,” the younger her asked, staggering by that point, fatigued by her sorrow.  “Please, tell me.  What is going on?  Why won’t you tell me?”

            “Leave me alone,” Alex whispered, hiding herself behind her hair.

            “What happened to my sister?”  The younger Alex grabbed the older Alex’s arm.  Her hands were small and weak, her fingers pale.  She tugged feebly, whined.  “Bring her back.  Bring her back to me!”

            “I said leave me alone!”  Alex pushed her away and turned her back now.  She closed her eyes and hid herself in her arms, and she took herself into the darkness by pushing everything out.  White walls, childish wails, cold bodies, she pushed it all away and embraced instead the void.  It was impossible to feel the pain, she told herself, if she didn’t feel anything at all.

            But she did feel.  She felt it all, and she couldn’t ignore it anymore.  Nothing stays buried, and she felt the tiny fists beating on her back, dull and slow, weak as a newborn, but there.  It cried in her ear and against her back, where she had carried it for so long, and it refused to be ignored anymore.

            In a fit of anger, Alex turned, and she shoved the little girl away.  “Shut! Up!  Just shut up!  Crying won’t help!  Crying won’t change anything at all!  She’s dead.  Dead!  And she’s not coming back!  You can beg, you can cry, you can kill yourself to follow after, and none of it matters.  She’s DEAD!”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Shana jerked awake.  At some point, she had fallen asleep around Alex, and she wasn’t sure when.  She felt tired and sore, eyes still half-lidded as she regarded the darkness around her. A shout had pulled her from sleep, from a dream of Voices and Emotions, from a world where nothing and everything was real, and when she found herself in shadows she realized it wasn’t a dream at all.

            Alex flailed beside her, cursing in the darkness in her slumber.  She swung at the air, swung at herself, and it took Shana to hold her and catches the blows.  Shana pinned Alex to the ground, wincing as a wild swing caught her in the face, and she ignored it and hugged her close.

            “It’s alright,” she whispered, gritting as she was struck again.  “It’s alright, Alex.  It’s okay.  I’m here.  I’m here with you.  So, it’s alright.”

            The Voices watched from the side, unmoving, impartial, as Alex sobbed and writhed.  As Alex eased, so did Shana, and she held her still and rubbed her back, and she let her cry.

            Three Gods approached, silent and critical.  I’ve always wandered, and I have to know, it said in a voice that married thunder and rain, Why are you always there for her?  Why do you help her so much?

            Shana smiled and wiped away the sweat from Alex’s forehead.  Alex eased in her grasp and settled more, her breathing growing regular.  “Because she’s my best friend,” she said after some time, “And because I love her.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex stared at the wall, silent.  She had turned her back on her little world again.  There was no point in looking.  She knew how the story ended, played it on repeat in her head and in her heart for the past ten years.  Whenever the tears came, she would just loop that moment over and over again until they stopped, and they had stopped.  There was now nothing left in her to cry out.  She was hollow.

            Little Alex joined her, squatted beside her and stared with the same glassy-eyed emptiness.  “Soon, I’ll be just like you,” she said after a long silence.  In that time no one cried.  For a moment, Alex felt not good but at least not bad, either.  When her younger self spoke, though, there was a pricking in the back of her head.  “I’ll be empty.”

            Alex scowled but didn’t look at her.  She stared, fixedly, at those damn white walls.  “I’m not empty,” she said, and when there was no response, she kept speaking.  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.  And you can’t just say things like that, things that aren’t true.”  When she turned to look, she found her younger self staring back at their parents.

            Their parents, or the specters of them, were fixed in place, frozen in a perpetual state of sorrow.  They wept crystal tears that didn’t fall, stood linked at the arms, slouched and ineffective.  Little Alex spoke, “It wasn’t that they didn’t understand, or that they didn’t love her like you did.  You lost a sister, but they lost a daughter, and they just didn’t know how to help.  At first, you were so wild, nothing but unbridled emotions while they were trying to mourn.  By the time they were recovered enough to help you along, though, you were emotionless.  It was too late for them help you along, because you were rooted in place.  You buried it all inside of you and kept it guarded by tantrums, tears, and quiet.”

            “Shut. Up.”

            “And you’re doing it again.”  Little Alex looked at her, straight ahead, glassy-eyed, empty, a perfect reflection.  “It’s the same thing over and over, you know.  Eternal.  Some people never change, and you never did, because you never wanted to.”

            “And who the hell do you think you are?  Sitting on your little throne, looking down on me like you aren’t a part of me!  But here you are!  And if you’re so damn perfect, if you have all the answers, then go ahead and take over! Change me!”  Alex fell into her knees, sobbing hard again.  “You don’t know anything.  You don’t know how hard life is.”

            “You’re right, I don’t.  I never will, because I’ll never be given a chance.  I’ll stay here, beaten down, stunted, swallowed and swallowed until all I am is a whisper in your ear, too faint to even be heard.”  Little Alex stood.  “Do you remember how to laugh, Alex?”

            Alex scowled at the floor.

            “Or do you remember how it feels to smile?  Or to love?  Do even know how to it feels to be sad anymore?”

            “Of course I do.  It’s all I know.”

            “No, Alex, you aren’t sad.  You cry.  Anyone can cry.  It’s just your body, though.  Tears don’t signify sadness.  They just signify tears, which can mean anything.  People cry for joy and, yes, sometimes in sorrow, but not you.  You cry from frustration or emptiness or because you’ve forgotten how to do anything else.”

            “I said shut up!”

            Alex turned, knocking the girl over again, and this time she pinned her down.  She swung, wildly, using her fists to hammer her tiny head into the ground.  “You! Think! You! Know! Me!”  Blood smeared her hands, smeared the floor, splattered across her face, but she kept swinging.  “But! You’re! All! Talk! No! Actions!”

            When she stopped and fell backward. The girl’s skull was broken bone and red blood.  Alex could hardly look at it and turned away to catch her breath.  She could smell the iron on the air.  The body watched her with one good eye, the other ruptured.  The bruises were already setting in.

            “Look at you,” it said, voice wet and raspy.  “You’ve almost done it, almost finished the job.  It’s taken you years, but you’ve nearly killed me off entirely.”

            Alex broke down into tears again, hugging herself more closely and trying to forget the smell of the blood in the air.  “Shut up!”

            “Does it hurt to see the real you?”

            “The real me?”  Alex sat back against the wall, staring at the dead body on the ground, at the dead body in the bed, at the dead bodies standing and crying forever.  “What was it Carolyne said?  I’m a zombie, dead but moving.”  She wiped her tears, smearing blood across her cheeks as she did.  “Is that what I am? Just a body.”

            Little Alex lied still, her head pooling across the floor.  She was small and broken, and Alex memorized every horrible detail.  At this point, she was collecting ghosts, but this one wouldn’t haunt only her.  It would break Shana’s heart and follow her to the grave.

            “I won’t let it happen,” she said, and she sniffed.  “I deserve whatever I get, but Shana deserves better.”  A deep breath, and Alex stood, jaw out, hands balled into bony fists.  “You can’t die,” she said, “Shana needs you.”

            “Is that all that matters to you?  Shana?  Is that all you live for?”

            “Isn’t it enough for now?”  Alex laughed ruefully.  “You said it yourself.  I’m empty, devoid of anything, but Shana...”  Alex stepped forward, scooped up the tiny broken thing and cradled it to her chest.  “No, it’s not fair.  I’ve been empty for so long, leeching life off of those around me, living through them, selfish to the core.  I’ve clung to Shana and used her to keep me going, pretending I was doing it for her and for Alicia but really, I was nothing but a burden to them.”

            “So?”

            “So, I don’t want to be empty anymore.”  She set the girl down on her feet and helped to keep her standing.  “Dying won’t help anyone, and it won’t solve the problem.  It just hurts the people I love.  Hurt Shana.  Maybe even leave her like me, and that won’t help, either.”

            Little Alex swayed unsteadily, held her older self to keep her steady.  “Then, what do you want?”

            “I want to live.  On my own, for me and myself, and for Shana, too, because of all she’s done for me. I owe her that much.”

            Little Alex smiled, and despite the damage done to her, it was a handsome smile. “That’s good to hear,” she said, her voice small but growing clear.  “It won’t be easy, though.  It will take more than resolve to do this, and once you start, you can’t stop.  If you make this decision, you’ll have to follow through.”

            Alex smirked self-consciously.  Isn’t that what life is about?  Besides, if I’m good at anything, it’s moving forward, even if I don’t have a destination in mind.  I just need a direction, and I’ll make it.  I’m sure.”

            “Then go toward the truth,” Little Alex said, pointing to the curtain and the specters.  “Own up to your past.”

            Alex looked ahead and halted.  She held her breath.  “Easy.  I’ve already done this one.”  She swallowed.  “This is just a repeat performance.”

            Another deep breath followed, and she hesitated.  Another deep breath, and doubts surfaced like flotsam after a storm.  It became a repeated pattern, swallowing doubts until they were buried so deep that they couldn’t stop her.  Then, she approached the curtain and put her hand against it.

            She looked at her parents, frozen in time, suspended by her own sorrow.  She looked at little Alex, battered, bruised, and half-dead but still standing in spite of it all.  She looked at herself, somehow, and saw who she was in the past, who she was in the present, and who she may become.  She breathed.  “I can do this.”

            The curtain rattled as she tugged it aside, and she found Alicia on the other side.  Years ago, Alicia was her sun, her moon, and all the stars in her sky.  She was everything Alex could ever want, everything Alex could ever hope to be, and time had changed her.  Alex was almost as tall as Alicia now, stockier in the shoulders.

            Even in death, Alicia was the most beautiful woman Alex ever met.  Her lips were plush, well-formed, her chin slightly pointed.  She was the princess Alex imagined in stories as a child, slumbering with tawny locks spread beneath her.  Her skin was pale as snow, and Alex stood, choked, holding the curtain tight for balance.

            “See,” she breathed after some time, “Not so hard.”  Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she wondered briefly if they were from frustration and decided it probably wasn’t a good sign that she didn’t know.  Time stood still, suspended, always suspended, and she didn’t feel any different.  The moment wasn’t at all like she hoped it would be.  Just an old memory.

            “This is stupid.” She started to turn but couldn’t release the curtain.  It had taken so much effort to get there.  “No, you’re just running.  Eyes open, move ahead.”  She stared at Alicia’s body, released the curtain to take her sister’s hand.  Alicia’s fingers were stiff and cold.

            Time passed and the room was still.  Alex held Alicia’s hand and stood by the bed, and she felt self-conscious.  Her parents were watching.  She was watching.  There were more tears, and she wiped them away.  By this point, the blood on her hands was dried.  She felt like she should say something but couldn’t think of the right words.  When she did, she finally said it all in a whisper.

            “I love you.”  It wasn’t the first time she had said it over the years, but it might have been the first time she meant it as a good thing, and from there the words poured out.  “I’m sure the whole world knows that already, but you know, sometimes it’s hard to admit.  Sometimes, I think that if I talk about you, you’ll be taken away from me again.”  Tears fell from her chin, landed on her hand.  She had to take a slow breath to keep from shaking.  “I think maybe that’s why I held it in for so long.  I wasn’t afraid of being hurt but, afraid that if I ever stopped hurting, I’d lose you over and over again.  Mom and dad, they would say—they told me that you were always alive inside of me, that you were in my memories, but what did that mean to a kid?  I was nine, and I was so young, and so sad, and I thought that meant I couldn’t stop being sad.

            “But that’s no excuse.  I never grew up because I never really knew how to.  After so many years of being sad, it became something like my natural state.  It became a part of me like my singing or...”  She smiled, slightly, and touched Alicia’s hair.  It was as soft as she remembered.  “The memories only made it hurt more, though, and deep down I knew it wasn’t right.  It’s an insult to your life to let your death be the only thing I hold onto.  I was just afraid to admit that because, every year, your laughter becomes harder to remember, and your voice...”  She closed her eyes.  “I don’t even remember what you sound like.”

            Silence fell like the night, and for the first time in ten years, Alex held nothing back.  She cried, and she cried, and it didn’t hurt.  She let it all wash over her, overwhelmed her, and she hugged Alicia tight to her, and she cried.  “I love you, Alicia.  I really do.  I love you, and I miss you.”

            “I miss you, too.”

            Alex went quiet.  She opened her eyes and found that the room was gone.  Now, she was at the graveyard.  There was a funeral in the distance, a crowd of people all in black, and a nine-year-old Alex among them with an eight-year-old Shana at her side, holding her hand, crying with her.  The people left one by one, and the two little girls stayed, staring at the freshly dug grave.  They wouldn’t stop crying until they fell asleep in the back of Alex’s parent’s car.

            Alicia was there with Alex, sitting beside her on the gravestone.  Her flesh had color to it, her cheeks a natural rose blush.  Her eyes were unclouded and her tawny hair fell about her shoulders like a curtain.  They were still holding hands, but her fingers were soft and warm now, and she smiled at Alex.  Looking into her eyes, Alex could almost see her sister standing in a field, wheat waist high, the sun setting behind her.

            “Alicia?  Are you—Are you real?”

            “Yes and no.  I’m a memory,” she said.  “That’s all that’s left of me now, but you already knew that.”

            “Yeah, I do.”  Alex wiped her eyes, but she didn’t let go of her sister’s hand.  “I guess hope springs eternal, huh?”

            “Right.”  Alicia gave a half-smirk.  “You’re looking good.  Tall.  A lot taller than I remember you being.  How long has it been again?”

            “About ten years, but if you’re just a memory, then shouldn’t you know what I know?”

            “You’re thinking too small, Alex.”  Alica’s memory nodded toward the funeral.  “You’re not the only person who ever new me.  People remember, and the world remembers, too.  We all existed together, connected by invisible threads.  When a person dies, their body goes back to the dirt, right?”

            Alex nodded.

            “Memories are the same way.  Everything has a place to go, and everything is eternal.”  She turned her smile back on Alex and lifted one leg to hug it to her chest.  “So, even if you forget, I’m never really forgotten.  Others will remember me and, when they die, the world will remember for them.  History will remember.  I existed, you know, and nothing can take that away from me.  Nothing in the cosmos has that sort of power, not even God.  Do you understand now?”

            “I think so.”  Alex sat beside the memory of her sister and found it smelled like lilacs, like her sister always did.  The voice was familiar, a touch high, and a bit like a bell.  It seemed so real, and as Alex dug her feet into the dirt, she smiled.  “Still, I don’t want to forget you.  I don’t want to go on without you.  And it’s not that I’m not strong enough.  I just really don’t want to lose you anymore than I have.”

            “That’s normal.”  Alicia’s memory reclined back, stretching her legs out, taking her hand away long enough to stretch her arms.  She let out a breath.  “But that’s what I’m getting at.  I’m not gone, and you’re never without me.  I was here, and that is never going to change.  The world will always remember me.”  She took Alex’s hands.  “And so will you.”

            “Even when I forget you’re always with me?”

            “Exactly,” Alicia’s memory said.  “And not like a ghost or anything like that, but in your blood, if you want to be literal.  We’re sisters, after all, and you’ve been crying a bit of me with you for the last ten years.  The rest?  We’ll leave that in your heart.”

            Alex rubbed her own arm self-consciously.  She felt warm now, and soft, like Alicia’s hand.  She allowed another smile.  “Thanks, Alicia, for the help.”

            “No problem.”  Alicia’s memory jumped from the gravestone.  “Now, listen, because here’s where it gets a bit heavy.  Everything else you’ve been doing, all the holding back, all the hurt, that’s got to stop.  You know it’s not the right way, and you know it’s not really living.”  She looked Alex in the eyes.  “You’re not the one who died, so why are you playing the part?”

            “I don’t know.”  Alex shrugged, stared at the ground.  “It just didn’t seem like there were any options left to me.  After you were gone, I didn’t know what to do with myself.”  She met the memory’s gaze again and found that its eyes were just like she remembered.  “I wanted to be you when I was younger, you know.  So, when you died, I didn’t have anyone to grow into.  I guess I just followed your example.”

            “No.  When you lose your way, you cut your own path.  Got that?”

            “Yeah.  I got it.”

            Alicia’s memory put a hand on her hip and tilted her head on one side.  “Then tell me that you’ll live your own life and make your own decisions.”

            “I will.  I’ll live my own life.  I’ll make my decisions.”

            “Good.”  Then, in perfect mimicry of the real Alicia, the memory took Alex’s face between her hands and stared her in the eyes.  “Now, mean it.”

            “I do.  I mean it.  I’ll carry on without you, and I’ll add more memories to the world.  I’ll finish the path you weren’t able to finish, I think.”

            “That’s a good answer, there.”  The memory smiled, and they watched the funeral end and the shades disperse.  “You’ve gotten taller, you know, but I think you’re grown in other ways.”

            “I don’t feel like I’ve grown at all.

            “You have. You’ve got a long way to go, but I think you’re on the right track.”  The memory looked up at the sky.  It was pale and the clouds were thin.  It was a sad day then, but the sun was coming.  “It’s been a long night, hasn’t it?”

            “Too long.”

            “But the dawn is soon.  I think it’s about time you get going.  There are people waiting for you.”

            “Wait.”  Alex took the memory’s hand.  “Can’t I say here with you for a little longer?”

            Alicia’s memory turned to look at her over the shoulder.  “Really, Alex, haven’t you learned anything yet?”

            “I have, but, just think of it as a good bye.  Just a little longer, please.  Even if you’re just a memory, you’re still my sister.”

            “No,” the memory said, sighing, and she embraced Alex.  It was warm and familiar and safe.  “I’m not.  I’m just a memory.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            Alex woke in a field of flowers.  The sky above was clear and, in the distance, she could hear the shifting of the waves as they danced along the shoreline.  The flowers were in full bloom, bright, vibrant petals so beautiful and vivid that they seemed to glow.  The brightest among them, she noted, were the yellows and oranges.

            Shana was with her, holding her close and caressing her hair.  She had one hand under Alex’s head, cradling her.  When Alex opened her eyes Shana smiled, and they made eye contact.

            “Shana?”

            “You’re finally awake.”  Her tone was motherly and serene.  She helped Alex to sitting.  “Are you feeling okay?  It seemed like you were having a nightmare.”

            Alex hugged Shana and felt the familiar warmth.  It was the sunlight that surrounded her, the smell of flowers in spring.  It was everything good Alex knew, and it was there now.  They stood together, and Alex rubbed her eyes.  “I was,” she said, “But I think it’s over now.”

            “Good.”  Shana looked around them, at the field of the flowers, at the trees green with leaves, and the blue sky.  “What do we do now?”

            Alex shrugged, and she took Shana’s head and lead her back toward the forest.  “I guess we go look for Ellen and Abraham and we get out of here.”  They reached the beach and found a long, thin strip of land had appeared in the water.  It extended into the distant horizon, flanked on both sides by the shifting waters.  The girls made eye contact again.  “You ready?”

            “Am I ready?”  Shana released Alex’s grip and sprinted forward, setting foot on the land-bridge out of there before she turned to blow a raspberry.  “Just try and keep up.”

 

: Bridges :

 

            He stumbled out of the darkness, leaving his memories behind him.  Each foot fall stirred the dust where he appeared.  The walls were ancient brick, yellow in color and smoothed by time.  Enormous pillars rose around him, into the shadows above.  Statues of figures unknown to man lined the walls, bearing images of creatures the likes of which he had never seen nor could ever imagine.

            The air was dry and warm and hurt his chest to breath.  The bloody wound upon his chest burned, his chest hair matted against his flesh.  It was scarring already, aided by the energy of the Emotion itself.  It was shallow to begin with looked far worse than it felt.

            The shadows hadn’t done much but slowed him.  They gripped at him and held him, and they whispered doubts into his ears, but he would not fail again.  This was the second time Alex was allowed to live.  A third time could not come to pass.

            He growled and started toward the far wall, where a staircase led up.  From the air he produced a weapon, which was still forming as he began his ascent.

            This time, Goliath would not hold back.

Indigo: Abraham, Emotion Vol. 2: Murderer, Chapter Nine: "The Island, part one"

 

Chapter Nine: The Island, part one

 

            Alex woke on the beach, body half-submerged in the rolling tides.  She was face-down in the wet sand, mouth salty and dry.  A cough made the wound in her side throb, and each slow movement reminded her of the battle that brought her here. 

            The sun was high and pale, like she remembered from the water.  It hurt to open her eyes, but she forced through it as she dragged herself from the water and fell onto her back.  Sand clung to her wet flesh wherever it could.  It hurt to breathe, almost even hurt to think.  Her memories were vague.  She remembered Goliath, remembered Shana shining brighter than a star, and then the fractured glass and darkness.

            The blue sky was vacant and merged into the blue sea in the horizon.  The island where she was sat alone, adrift in endless, shifting waters.  There weren’t even any clouds to keep her company and no wind to stave off the heat of the sun.  It the far distance, just at the edge of what she could see, Alex thought there might be a shoreline, but she also thought it might be her imagination.

            A large forest dominated the islands core.  It was populated by thick rooted trees, bark like dark chocolate, standing so tall they seemed to hold the sky in their branches.  When she closed her eyes, she felt nothing inside, no light, no life.  She was alone there, entirely and completely, accompanied only by the sound of her heart hammering in her chest.

            She forced herself to sitting, and then to standing.  Her shoes squished as she walked, and she managed a few solid steps before she was reduced to a shuffle.  The shore where she walked was made of fine, white sand, so pure that her footprints may have been the first ever left there.  After thirty-minutes she came to a stop, staring at the foot prints she just made in the sand and the outline of her body where she had previous lied.

            She fell to her knees, shuddering, and hugged herself.  “No,” she whispered to herself, tears in her eyes.  She thought of Shana, and she stood again, difficult as it was.  She had found her before, and she could find her again.  She believed that as much as she could believe in anything.

            Movement, out of the corner of her eye, and she followed it into the forest.  She didn’t get a good look as it darted between the trees.  It was a small shadow, a child hardly to her waist, dark hair trailing after it like a shadow.

            “Abraham?”

            Alex followed, running as quickly as her legs could carry her and faster still when she could manage.  The tiny shadow forged ahead, ducking under branches, weaving through the thickets like it knew them by heart.  Alex stumbled after, feet swallowed by dead leaves, tripping and tumbling over hanging vines.

            They stopped together in a clearing, grass blackened and burnt, ground overturned, gutted.  Dead trees laid, rotting, to one side.  It looked to Alex like a scar cut deep into the forest, and the figure, a child, stood in the center.  It was a girl, dressed all in black, dark eyes fixed on Alex as she approached.  She looked like Abraham, but close examination showed Alex that she wasn’t.

            The little girl had dark hair, though not black, and tan skin.  Their eyes, Alex’s and the girls, and were the same color, the same brown so deep and dark that it almost looked like a void in space.  She smiled, bashfully, and gave a little wave.  “Hello,” she said, in a voice Alex recognized.

            In fact, Alex knew her, and stood, rooted, trying to place the little girl’s face.  It was so familiar, someone she knew from her past, someone she knew so well.  Every aspect of her was familiar, a memory long abandoned or deeply buried.  She knew her eyebrows, her nose, her tiny chin and her teeth, her posture, and even her laugh.

            “Wait.”  Alex’s eyes went wide, and once again she was shaking.  “Are you?”

            The girl giggled.  “My name is Alex,” she said.  “I’m you!”

 

: Murderer :

 

            Shana woke up in the sand, water tickling her toes and teasing her bare feet as it licked at the shore.  The sun was hot on her, warming her bones and sand around her.  She could taste salt and dirt and moved her dry tongue about before spitting out a mouthful of sand.  She could hear the sea shifting around her, singing softly in the breeze.

            She sat up and opened her eyes.  The beach around her was empty, white sand gleaming in the midday sun.  The blue-green sea stretched out behind her, into the horizon.  She thought, in the distance, she could see the shadow of an enormous tree, its long, spindly branches scrapping the sky.  Before her was a forest, dense and dark, bark like coal and leaves like emeralds.

            She stood and dusted her pants, knocking the sand from them as she spat more sand onto the ground.  she tucked back a few stray hairs and gave another cursory glance.  Alex was missing, disappearing after the glass fell away.  They had reached for each other in the darkness but were pulled apart.

            Shana held out her hand and called to it.  With it, she could search for Alex, even find her, but when she closed her eyes it wasn’t there.  The light inside of her was swallowed by the light around her.  It was so bright that it was blinding, and she couldn’t filter it.  So, she instead walked the length of the beach to see if she could find Alex nearby and called for Alex on the way.

            The island was empty, save for the forest at its center, which was nothing but shadows and silence.  It seemed to her as empty as the rest of the shoreline.  Wherever she was, she was alone, covered in sand, mouth dry as a casket.  She slumped with a sigh and hugged her knees at the edge of the water.  Again, she closed her eyes.

            Alex appeared in her mind, lying in the rain and bleeding.  Carolyne was nearby, looking equally dire.  That is how Shana found them, dying or near death, she could hardly tell.  There wasn’t time to contemplate it.  She applied pressure to the wound but found the blood slipping through her fingers.  She didn’t have enough strength to save Alex; it would have taken all the strength in the world.

            Shana had screamed and then there was a flash.  Then she was alone in a jungle, humidity leaving her clothes wet against her skin, her hair curling and damped.  Samantha found her, then.  Samantha, with her dark hair and ivory skin.  Samantha, who loved her and who she loved and through a series of mistakes and a strange revelation, Shana found Alex again, and she felt whole.

            She remembered how warm Alex had felt, and how brightly she had shined, and...

            Shana sat up.  “Warmth.”  She looked up at the sun and the clear blue sky.  “Light.”  She stood and looked back toward the forest, and she realized the truth.  Alex wasn’t missing but was all around her.  When reaching to her Voice, to Heart Song, she hadn’t failed but had found Alex already, burning like a beacon in the night.  The sun light, Shana realized, was decidedly familiar.  It was the way Alex shined when she would smile, and Shana knew it by heart.

            She smiled and hugged her legs tighter.  Alex was there, with her, all around her, and Shana was sure that if she waited long enough, they would see each other again.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex stared, and the younger version of her stared back.  The girl, Alex realized, didn’t simply share her face.  She shared her dark hair, her dark eyes, perhaps even her soul.  Somewhere inside of her still, Alex was the little girl staring back at her, and somehow, that little girl was her.

            “What...”  Alex paused, thought.  Her head still felt heavy like lead, and her brain, too.  It felt like she had been compressed and, all-in-all, she felt oddly self-conscious facing herself like that.  Without Shana there, Alex was entirely alone with herself.  Eventually, she settled on, “How’d you get here?”

            The girl skipped toward her, hopping over burnt earth and broken branches.  She came to a stop before Alex, her dark hair swaying, and she pointed at Alex’s chest, just left of center.  “Abraham thought we should meet.”

            That meant Abraham was alive, or so Alex assumed.  She crossed her arms and examined the little girl closely and found she looked very solid.  In fact, the longer Alex looked, the more real the girl became until she seemed more substantial than even the dirt beneath them.  “And you’re me, right?”

            Little Alex nodded, and she held her taller doppelganger’s gaze.  Alex kneeled down so that they were face-to-face, Alex the sober adult, solemn, serious, and mature; and Alex the little girl, pure innocence hidden behind smiles and jitters.

            “And why did she want us to meet?”

            The girl shrugged and stared at the ground, swaying gently as she rubbed her own arms.  She looked small and sad, but it lasted only a moment before her energy returned.  She met her own gaze again and gave her a familiar look, one that was meant only for Alicia.

            Alex stood stiff and stuffed her hands into her pockets.  She stared out at the forest, her face a mask of stone.  Her thoughts went to work, to Shana, to survival, to Abraham and the Emotion.  The sky was still clear blue.  There wasn’t a cloud in sight.

            Little Alex frowned.  “Why are you so grumpy all the time?”

            Alex looked down and found the girl staring again, arms crossed, feet planted, a miniature her with the same miniature gestures.  Even when narrowed, those dark eyes were big as saucers and dark as the ocean’s depths.

            “Just shut up, will you I’m trying to think.”  Alex paced away, walking the area of the scar.  If Shana was somewhere on the island, she reasoned, it was somewhere in the woods.  If she wants, then Alex would have to find a way off.  The Emotion, as she understood it, was meta-physical.  Maybe, she could use her voice to find a way off.

            Little Alex followed, trailing with her arms held behind her, humming to herself.  They walked for nearly ten minutes in silence, a girl and her past.

            Alex stopped, stared down at her smaller self.  “What’re you doing?”

            “Following.”

            “Why?”

            “Because.  Where are you going?”

            Alex rolled her eyes, huffed.  “I’m looking for someone.”

            A moment of contemplative quiet and then a smile exploded onto the little girl’s face.  She took Alex by the fingers, her hand small but strong, and gave a tug.  “You’re looking for Shana!  Follow me, I know where she is!”

            Alex was tugged forward and followed hesitantly.  Of all the people she knew, Alex trusted herself the least, but she had nowhere else to go.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Shana fell asleep, curled up and hugging her knees at the edge of the shore, the gentle lull of the waves sending her off as the water licked at her toes.  She fell into the darkness of her dreams, where time was suspended.  She waited like a stone until she heard something calling out to her from that darkness, a voice like a song, like the waves and the shore, perpetually rolling.  Time didn’t pass in the Emotion, she remembered, at least not in a manner which she understood.

            The voice drew nearer.  Shana, listen to me.  Hear me.  Please.

            It was a high voice that bounced around her.  It was the wind on the trees, distant and beautiful.  It was the twinkle of the stars against the black night.  She stood in the sand and opened her eyes, and she stared into the horizon, but she saw nothing.

            Please.  Just listen.  Open your heart and listen.

            The voice, Shana realized, was from inside of her.  It was the light inside, shining bright even in the darkness.  It was her soul.  The words reverberated through her entire being, and it surrounded her and consumed her, just as she surrounded and consumed it.  She closed her eyes again, and she saw it in the darkness.

            Her Voice was strange and beautiful, with long ears like that of a fox but a brunt, whale-like face.  Long whiskers hung from its maw; a tail swayed behind its heavy form.  Its appraised her with eyes that were the same color of brown as hers.  Its flesh was blue and gold.

            Warmth spread through her as it approached, and she opened her eyes and found it now floating above the water at roughly the same height as her.  Up close, it was enormous with a hardened carapace covering its upper body.  Long trains of knitted silk hung from its body, catching the breeze and spreading like wings.

            She touched its furry ears, and it rolled onto its back, revealing its soft underside.  She laughed.  “You’re my Voice, aren’t you?”

            It mewled symphonically.

            “I thought so.  But what are you doing here?  How did you even get here?”

            I came for you, it sang, I came to help you.  You’re looking for Alex, but she’s not here.  You’re too close to see where she is.  It righted itself and sunk under her, surfacing beneath her and lifting her onto its back.  The ridges in the carapace was perfectly spaced to fit her.  Her Voice cradled her as it drifted up into the blue sky.  Around her, she could see the skyline stretching out infinitely and the small island shrinking from view.

            Shana hugged its frame.  “What do you mean by I’m too close?”

            You’re inside of her right now, but that isn’t the same as seeing her.  A cell in your body doesn’t see you because it’s the same.  But I can take you to her.  I can help you find her, to really see her.

            “To really see her?  Like, what do you mean?”

            I can take you to her heart.

            “To her heart?  Like the Emotion?”

            Yes, but inside of her.  Alex is lost and alone, isolated in a sea of her own sorrow.  This is why she is here but not with you, and you cannot help her fix the problem.  Not here, and not how you would like.  It’s hers and hers alone, but you can still help.

            Shana nodded.  “I understand, and I want to be there.”  She grabbed tightly to the armor and patted her Voice’s side.  “Take me to her.”

            Her Voice hummed and drifted higher into the sky.  Water swallowed them from above and the world went black.  Shana’s lungs burnt as they ascended, going higher and deeper.  The shadows grew thick, dark hangs grabbing at her.  Her chest ached, her ears throbbed, but she kept her eyes open and, eventually, she saw the light.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex stood by the water, where the girl led her.  They still held hands, and the girl’s other arm, small and dainty, was stretched out and toward the sea where she pointed.  “She’s there,” she said.  “But you can’t see her cause it’s too far.”

            Alex released the girl, jerking her arm away and stepping into the water.  Her shoes filled.  In the distance, she could see a land mass and, in the foggy horizon, possibly an enormous tree, and she scowled.  After everything, all of the battles, all of the struggle, all of the hurt, Shana was stolen away from her yet again.  Another loss, another set-back, added to a lifetime of them.

            She kicked at the water.  “What the hell is the point of all of this?”  She screamed and flailed, and she stared then at the girl, who was recoiling back.  “So, what? I’m stuck here?  Stuck here while Shana is over there, out of reach!  I can’t even have her, can I?”  She approached her younger self and took her by the shoulders.  Shaking her, she screamed, “Why?  Why does this keep happening?  What did I do to be punished like this?  Wasn’t it bad enough to...”  She stopped, expression softening, eyes empty.  She turned back toward the sea, slouched, hands in her pocket.

            The girl paused beside her, hesitating.  A few empty seconds pass without only the sound of the tide to fill them.  Little Alex stepped forward.  “Are you okay?”

            “Just tell me how to fix it.”

            The girl took a deep breath, frowned.  She looked older, now, older than Alex, older than stones and trees, older than thought itself.  Standing beside Alex, she took her hand again.  “There is only one way, and you won’t like it, but I think it will work.”  She looked at Alex, a faint smile, and Alex nodded.  “Then, follow me.”

            They turned away from the water and the shore, and away from the horizon and stared into the forest.  From there Alex couldn’t see the scar, but she could feel it inside of her, deep, deep inside of her, hardened and forgotten, buried in the foundations of it.  The girl squeezed her fingers.  “Say goodbye to it,” she said.

            Alex looked at her.  “To what?”

            “To your little island.  When this is all over, you’ll never see it again.”  The girl looked at her, a tiny mirror, and said, “It’s important.  It’s how it starts.”

            Alex took a deep breath, and she nodded, and she whispered her goodbye.  Together they turned again and found the sea churning.  A storm was moving in, darkening the sky and stirring the waves.  Little Alex took a step forward, and Alex trailed after.

            The water opened, swelling with waves that parted like mouths and snapped at the air.  A long line of them spread across the sea, moving toward them with hurricane force, and the girls met them head on as they crashed against the shore, and they were swallowed.

            Darkness took them, blinded them, and chilled them.  The pressure of the water squeezed the last bit of light from inside of Alex, who awoke again, this time in darkness without even her soul to help her.  She heard a noise behind her, the sobbing of a child, and she saw a light, and she turned.

Indigo: Abraham, Emotion Vol. 2: Murderer, Chapter Eight: "The Glass House (The BoneGrinder, Remix)"

 

Chapter Eight: The Glass House (The BoneGrinder, Remix)

 

            Alex didn’t dream.  After Alicia’s death, she dreamt every night, about Alicia, sick in bed, pale, buried in blankets.  Then, after years passed, she dreamt of darkness or blackness, emptiness, vast and hungry, eating every memory she had of her sister and growing hungrier after.  This time, Alex didn’t dream.  She slept deeply and soundly for what felt like the first time in her life, with no nightmares or voices to distract her.

            When she woke she was calm, almost happy.  He wounds had closed, her fevers passed.  Stiff limbs loosened as she rose, and though she was still bruised across her arm and chest, she was mobile, even healthy.

            She found Shana beside her.  They had fallen asleep hidden in the grass, lying beside the water, and she woke instead in what looked to her like a hollowed-out glass bead.  Tall, thick pillars of glass surrounded her on all sides, edges smoothed to a voluptuous roundness, perhaps by erosion or some other voice.

            The interior was glossy and dark.  There was light, somewhere, swallowed by the thick glass and dimmed to the point where it was nearly impossible to see.  The walls were cool to the touch and cast everything in a dull, blue-white color that blurred everything together.

            She felt along the walls for a few feet and found they were in a cavern.  There was a long, winding path that ended immediately behind them and another that led away and deeper in.  The shadows were darker, there.  There was less light to go by.  She followed it for some time, to where the paths forked, and then returned, deciding it was better to work her way back to Shana before they were separated again.

            Shana woke at Alex’s approached.  She stretched and yawned, and then felt around their darkened surroundings.  “Alex?  Alex!”

            “I’m here.”  Alex joined her on the floor, sitting beside her close enough that they brushed shoulders.  Feeling her then, Shana settled, and Alex could almost feel her smile in the darkness.

            “Where are we?”

            “Not too sure.  The surroundings shifted again.”

            “Yeah, looks like.”  Shana rubbed the sleep from her eyes and then placed her palm along the wall.  Alex couldn’t see her, but she could feel the movement of her body, and it seemed to her that Shana was tracing the contours of the glass with her palm.  “Feels like we’re inside of a marble.  Weird.”

            Alex nodded and then stood.  She offered Shana her hand and helped her up.  “Wherever we are, we need to keep going.  Ellen and Abraham are lost somewhere in here.  Here being...this whole place.”

            “Here being the Emotion?”

            Alex paused and wondered just how much Shana knew.  She remembered the dark-haired woman who disappeared as they fought and wondered about her, too.  In the end, it didn’t matter, and she didn’t want to revisit it.  The battle itself had been hard enough, on both of them, and was not worth revisiting.

            Alex didn’t know much about the Emotion, though.  Carolyne had called it the ‘heart of God,’ but that didn’t mean much.  It was a strange place, pulsing with so much life that sometimes Alex had trouble remembering herself while she was there, but she figured that didn’t matter, either.  She found Shana, and she would find Ellen and Abraham, and that’s all she cared about.

            She took Shana’s hand, like she would when they were children, and led her forward in the darkness.  In her free right hand, Alex conjured her Voice, Three Gods. Feeling the familiar tingle travel up her spine, it formed in the air, reality warping to accommodate its sudden intrusion, and her senses shifted.  The life felt sharper, the area around her more detailed.  The blade slid smoothly from the brace and, once it was fully formed, she found the words and spoke them silently to herself.

            Blazing corona, lustrous light, red blade of power, lend me your might.

            A soft, orange glow formed along the face of Three God’s blade and lit the area around them.  It wasn’t much to see by, but it was better than nothing.  In the dim, hazy light, Alex saw Shana smile.

            “Well, that’s pretty convenient,” Shana said, and Alex tried not to smile.

            “It’s not much.”

            Alex led them with her arm out, keeping her heated blade at a distance.  They took the left path out and into a narrow room, dark like the rest.  The shadows were dense here, the glass thicker above from the looks of it, and swallowing the light.  Sometimes, when Alex moved her blade, it seemed to her like the shadows were telling her lies, showing tunnels that weren’t there.

            She stopped and closed her eyes because she didn’t trust them anymore.  Instead, she called out with her soul.  It stretched out, filling the halls, filling the world, spreading into the light all around that made up the life of the Emotion and seeing through it.  She sorted through it all and found herself, standing with Shana, hand-in-hand.

            She moved deeper and reached farther, burying herself into the energy that surrounded her and letting it spread through her.  The Emotion was vast, greater than anything she had ever seen, a world or even countless worlds itself.  In this great, endless light she found the boy from the library.  His aura was gentle but edged, as if something was weighing on him and chipping away at his heart.

            Beyond and beside him, she found Ellen, her presence gentle and warm, reminding her of a sunflower in bloom.  She found also another presence, one which dwarfed her own and seemed almost a world of its own.  The presence was vast and empty, devoid of almost everything at all.  It cast light, but that light was entirely without color.

            As she came back, she found another presence.  It was faint but powerful, and once she looked in on it, she knew immediately.  The presence had gone native and was slowly being swallowed by the Emotion, as Alex feared she might be, but what it lacked in depth it made up for in density.  She knew it immediately and found it waiting not far ahead.

            She opened her eyes and stared out into the darkness.  Shana stood beside her, holding her by the hand and looking anxious.  “Alex?  You okay?”

            Alex nodded.  “Yeah.”  She looked ahead, down the tunnel.  It was there—he was there—Goliath, waiting to finish what he started.  She looked back at Shana and knew what she had to do.  “Wait here.  I’m going to scout up ahead and see if there’s a way out.”  She released Shana’s hand but was grabbed by the wrist before she could go.

            “No, Alex.  We should stick together.  It’s safer that way.”

            “No.”  Alex jerked away.  “You stay here.”  She tried her best to look resolute but found it hard when staring into Shana’s eyes.  “You look tired.  So, rest.”

            “I’m fine, Alex, and it’s dangerous here.  I won’t let you go alone when I can go with you.”

            “You’re waiting here, and that’s the end of it.”

            “No, it’s actually not.”  Shana was glaring, now, and had her hands on her hips.  It was a warning sign Alex knew well.  “I want to help you, Alex.  I’m going to help you.”

            Alex paced.  She braced into the wall and looked ahead at the tunnel.  From where she was, she thought there might be a curve in the darkness.  In her mind’s eye, she could see Goliath waiting on her, and she could also see Shana there beside him, broken at his feet, killed to get at Alex.  That couldn’t happen, Alex wouldn’t let it, so she let go.

            Three Gods dissolved into the air and the light went with it.  The darkness was abrupt, made worse by the sudden disappearance of light, but Alex knew where she was going and how to get there.  She heard Shana stumble after her, could almost feel her groping in the darkness.

            “Alex!  Wait, why are you doing this? Where are you going?”

            Alex followed the tunnel to the bend and stopped.  She looked back.  “I’m sorry, Shana, but I don’t have a choice.  I won’t let you get hurt, and I definitely won’t let you die for me.  I’ll come back for you when it’s all over, but for now, you have to stay here and stay safe.”

            “Alex!  Stop!  Where are you going?  You can’t die, dammit!  Get back here!”

            Alex whispered a, “Goodbye,” and left as she heard Shana crying.  She turned the corner and followed it down, exploring the tunnels far ahead of her.  Shana was smart and stubborn, too, so Alex knew she would follow, but she hoped that Goliath could be dealt with before Shana’s arrival.  It didn’t matter to Alex who died in the fight, so long as it wasn’t Shana.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex found Goliath waiting in a large, domed cavern.  The ceiling was high and thin, the light from above shining brighter here, perhaps even amplified by the glass.  The walls were smoothed and contoured like the rest of the cavern.  Eight giant, glass pillars filled the center with narrow spaces cut through each of them by water, time, or magic—Alex didn’t know.  All three seems possible in the Emotion.  Alex walked between two as she approached Goliath.

            He was seated, legs crossed, near the far wall.  An enormous sword, easily taller than Alex and wider, too, was laid at rest in front of him.  The grip was made of dark steel and was as long as one of her arms.  Her arrival pulled him from his reverie.

            Goliath smiled as their gazes met.  The shadows here were swallowed by the light, and those that remained had sharp edges to them.  It made his face look gaunt and his muscles harder cut.  In this light, she could see him for what he truly was—a giant of a man, skilled in combat, and sent to kill her.  He stood, hefting the massive blade as if it were weightless.  “Welcome.  Where is your friend?  You aren’t here alone.”

            Alex went stiff.  They knew, already, about Shana.  That was the line she needed.  Before, she hesitated to kill Goliath, but she would do anything to protect Shana.  “What do you people want with us?”

            His smile faded.  He held the blade in one hand and moved it with impossible ease.  “I’ve been sent to kill you.”  He didn’t say it with humor or joy.  It was like the words were heavy, and he hardly seemed able to force them from his lips.  “You should have given up last time, when I let you live, because I can’t do that again.  This time, I can’t let you escape with your life.  You have to die, and so does she.”

            “And why?  Why do we have to die? We just want to find our friends.  What does any of that have to do with you?”

            “It doesn’t matter,” Goliath said.  “These are my master’s orders.  I won’t fail him again.”

            Alex screamed, “Why?  You clearly don’t want to do this, so why?  Why follow someone who would order you to kill a complete stranger?”

            “Because, he is strong, stronger than you or I, and the strong lead the weak.  That is the way of the world, girl.  You lived last time only because I allowed it, and you will die now because he demands it.  For whatever reason, he sees you as a threat, and that is very unfortunate for you.”

            His words and tone left her feeling numb.  Somewhere else, sitting on high, there was someone stronger than Goliath.  Someone stronger than the man who nearly killed her, and that was the one who wanted her dead.  All of the bruises in her body ached in remembrance.  She knew from the start that there would be no reasoning with him, but she had still hoped for the best.

            She thought of Shana then, and her eyes narrow.  She called on Three Gods, and in a flash of liquid steel it appeared and spread across her arm.  The blade extended and the red jewel gleamed in the dragon’s maw.  She widened her stance and tried her best to keep limber.  “Fine!  If that’s all you can say, then let’s finish this.”

            He sighed.  “And you plan to fight again.  Don’t you remember what happened last time?  How futile your struggle is?  I thought those wounds might teach you a lesson.”

            “They did.  They taught me what would happen if you got your hands on Shana.  So, I won’t lose again, not after you threatened her.  You can break my legs, sever my spine, for her, I’ll keep fighting until the end!”

            Goliath gave a long, cold stare and shook his head.  “Fine,” he growled, “We will do it your way.  It doesn’t matter.  In the end, you’ll both be dead.”

            The air grew tense and heavy, and the distance between them no longer seemed so great.  Goliath stood tall, shoulders straight, his blade seized in both hands.  It looked sharp enough to cleave through stone.  His entire body was hardened, one massive muscle ready to pounce, and staring at him Alex felt like a tiny girl in far over her head.

            He moved and roared, dragging his blade and leaving a long, thin trail of glass shards in his wake.  Meeting him head on would be fruitless.  He was a warrior and knew how to kill.  In a fair fight, he was better.  Alex knew this and retreated, backing up and rounding a nearby pillar to hide behind.

            Goliath stopped and spun, moving the blade cleanly through the foggy glass.  Alex felt it pass only inches above her head.  Cracks spread out like long, jagged fingers through the glass.  She heard his blade making a second pass along the ground and barely caught glimpse of it in time to jump and save her ankles.

            The landing left her flat on her stomach.  On the other side of the pillar Goliath gave another roar, this one sounding more beast than man, and planted his foot against the pillar.  He pushed, and the glass screeched and shattered as it slid out and tilted forward.  Alex saw the shadows shifting, felt the floor rumble and fissure, and she rolled out of the way just in time.

            Shards of glass scattered around her.  They bloodied her hand as she pushed herself to standing.  There was no time to think of a new strategy, Goliath was on her and he brought his blade with him.  He leveled it and swung at her waist.  She leapt away and sought refuge behind another pillar, this one thicker than the last, and made the long sprint around it.

            Here, she stopped and waited.  He was on the other side.  She could feel him, his presence stirring the air.  He lifted his blade and forced it through the glass.  It appeared just beside her, and she moved as he gave a herculean jerk and parted the pillar, tearing half of the glass away as he removed his blade.  The glass dissolved into a fine, shimmering fog that spread around them and cut Alex’s lungs as she breathed.

            Suddenly, the last battle came back to her.  Alex remembered the injuries, her bruises aching, and she could only see Goliath now as a hazy figure on the other side of the fog.  His big form moved swiftly toward her, preparing for a lunge.  Another deep breath, and Alex leapt into the hollow of the pillar where he was and met his thrust, and she aimed for the heart.

            Goliath stopped and brought his blade up, swatting at her with the flat side.  She landed on it, her feet finding home on its improbably width, and was thrown a few feet away, landing between two other pillars and rolling to a clumsy halt just passed them.  Goliath gave a smile.

            “Impressive,” he said, turning to meet her.  He leapt and brought his blade down over head, and he was just about to land a killing blow when a flash of light distracted them both.  Shana met him in the air, intercepting his weapon with her own.  Her Voice knocked his blade aside and into the pillar to Alex’s left, shattering it in impact.

            Shana landed on one knee in front of Alex, breathless but ready.

            “Shana?  What the hell are you doing here? I told you to wait!”

            “And I told you I was coming,” Shana said, and she stood beside Alex.  “He’s the one who hurt you, right?”  She stared at Goliath, through him, and held her Voice firmly in both hands.  “Now, it’s my turn to hurt him!”

            Goliath forced his blade free.  He towered over both of them.  Even together, defeating him seemed impossible.  He sneered.  “You could have chosen Samantha and lived, you know.  Then, neither you nor she would have had to die.”

            Shana breath caught.  Her grip lightened.  “Samantha’s dead?”

            Goliath brought the blade down again, and this time Alex intercepted.  She shoved Shana to the side and then leapt away, letting the blade crash into the air between them.  Shana was still stunned on the other side, but Alex was standing.  “Go, Shana!  I don’t want you here.  I don’t want you to get hurt!”

            Shana recovered, pulling herself up with the pillar behind her and bracing against it.  “Idiot!  Don’t you ever think about me, about what I want?   You don’t want to lose me.  You want to protect me!”  She glared and lifted her hammer again.  “What about how I don’t want to lose you?  What about how I don’t want YOU to be hurt!”

            Alex paused.  In truth, in all her life, she had never considered it.  Even in that moment, when she was told in person, she didn’t really understand.  Being so weak as Alex was, she had always figured Shana thought of her as a burden, an obligation, a responsibility.  She always felt like she held Shana back, that all of it was simply pity and kindness.

            Goliath spun, bringing his blade around and aiming to sever Shana’s head with a single stroke.  Shana ducked under and let the blade slice through the pillar at her back, and Alex then saw her change.  She summoned all of her strength and charged, and she felt lighter and stronger than she ever had before.  She leaped, and she felt like she was flying.

            Her Voice scratched the ceiling at acme, and words came to her from somewhere deep in her soul.  She heard them and understood then, and she let the form in her throat and change the world around her.  “All sorrow at bay.  All hope come to light!”

            Alex landed with staggering force.  Three Gods shined, bright as the sun, and lit the cavern interior.  It was blinding and warm, and Goliath caught the attack with the flat of his blade but couldn’t stand against it.  His rooted legs came undone, and as he staggered, his blade collapsed as she grew ever brighter.

            This time, he was moved, moved into the glass wall on the other side of the room with enough force to shatter it on impact.  His slumped, the glass dusting his body, still conscious but stunned.  Alex landed, equally surprised, but didn’t take the time to admire her work.  She went straight to Shana and helped her to stand.

            They made eye contact, and Alex allowed a small, hesitant smile.  “Thank you, Shana.  For everything.  For caring about me.”

            Shana smiled back, though she seemed more bemused than happy, as she tilted her head to one side.  “Why wouldn’t I?”

            Alex was about to reply when she felt it.  The air had shifted and a chill crawled up her spine.  Shana goes wide-eyed just before Alex throws them both down, and a chunk of glass, literally pulled from one of the standing towers, sails overhead.  It collapses the pillar nearby and covers both girls in a find, glittering dust.

            Alex stood and turned to find Goliath on his feet.  He wiped blood from his chest, mixing it in with the sweat and hair there.  At his feet laid his fractured sword, parted in two by her attack.  The wall behind him had a deep crack where he had landed.

            He grinned.  “You’re faring much better than you did before, I’ll admit.”  He reached into the air and the light shifted.  From the ether he produced a large, leather whip which fell, coiled, at his feet.  With a flick, the whip snapped and severed what remained of the nearby pillar.  It hung suspended for a moment before collapsing to the ground.

            He repeated the movement, this time leaving a lash cut in the ground around Alex’s feet, and he started toward her.  Alex retreated a step and remembered Shana beside her, found her kneeling and breathless.  She stared ahead a moment and then sprinted away, drawing Goliath away with her.

            He followed, leaving deep gashes in the glass around her.  She fell back and let her momentum slide her forward, into the safety of one of the few pillars left, and there stopped to catch her breath.  She could hear the whip snapping and cracking and then felt it catch her in the side as it came around the pillar.

            Contact was soft but deep, splashing blood across the glass and leaving her to scream and wince as she clutched the fresh wound.  From a distance she heard Shana yell and then watched as the whip unfurled, moving almost in slow-motion as it struck like a serpent.

            The air shifted again, and this time Shana changed.  Alex recognized that moment of inspiration, when the Voice came to her.  The hammer shimmered, and Shana’s Voice seemed lighter as she charged forward, her body moving with uncharacteristic speed, and she screamed, “Ignore my title, dismiss my name.  Hear only my song!”

            The air hummed and the glass fractured around Shana as she moved.  Just as the whip was about the strike, Shana caught it with a well-placed swing and brought it just short.  It snapped inches from Alex’s face, leaving only a shallow gash across the bridge of her nose.

            Alex recoiled back, wincing as she did, and as she recovered found the floor shuddering.  Chunks of glass disappeared into a dark abyss below as the floor gave out from under them.  Goliath was the first to fall, his heavy body being too much to bear.  Alex and Shana ran for her each other, hands out-stretched, as the darkness swallowed them.

            The world grew dark and cold.  Alex saw nothing in the darkness, save for two lights.  One was dim and the other shined brighter than any beacon, and she knew it immediately—Shana.  She went for it but soon even that was gone.

            As the darkness receded Alex found herself in water.  She was warm and sore.  The wound in her side pulsed and stung, as did her nose.  She opened her eyes and found a clear blue sky with a pale sun suspended in the distance.  A halo of light burned, prismatic, around it.

            She sat up and struggled in the effort.  Once again, her body wished not to heed her and couldn’t support her.  She fell back, again, heavy as a stone, and the darkness took her again.