Indigo: Abraham, Emotion Vol. 2: Murderer, Chapter Nine: "The Island, part one"

 

Chapter Nine: The Island, part one

 

            Alex woke on the beach, body half-submerged in the rolling tides.  She was face-down in the wet sand, mouth salty and dry.  A cough made the wound in her side throb, and each slow movement reminded her of the battle that brought her here. 

            The sun was high and pale, like she remembered from the water.  It hurt to open her eyes, but she forced through it as she dragged herself from the water and fell onto her back.  Sand clung to her wet flesh wherever it could.  It hurt to breathe, almost even hurt to think.  Her memories were vague.  She remembered Goliath, remembered Shana shining brighter than a star, and then the fractured glass and darkness.

            The blue sky was vacant and merged into the blue sea in the horizon.  The island where she was sat alone, adrift in endless, shifting waters.  There weren’t even any clouds to keep her company and no wind to stave off the heat of the sun.  It the far distance, just at the edge of what she could see, Alex thought there might be a shoreline, but she also thought it might be her imagination.

            A large forest dominated the islands core.  It was populated by thick rooted trees, bark like dark chocolate, standing so tall they seemed to hold the sky in their branches.  When she closed her eyes, she felt nothing inside, no light, no life.  She was alone there, entirely and completely, accompanied only by the sound of her heart hammering in her chest.

            She forced herself to sitting, and then to standing.  Her shoes squished as she walked, and she managed a few solid steps before she was reduced to a shuffle.  The shore where she walked was made of fine, white sand, so pure that her footprints may have been the first ever left there.  After thirty-minutes she came to a stop, staring at the foot prints she just made in the sand and the outline of her body where she had previous lied.

            She fell to her knees, shuddering, and hugged herself.  “No,” she whispered to herself, tears in her eyes.  She thought of Shana, and she stood again, difficult as it was.  She had found her before, and she could find her again.  She believed that as much as she could believe in anything.

            Movement, out of the corner of her eye, and she followed it into the forest.  She didn’t get a good look as it darted between the trees.  It was a small shadow, a child hardly to her waist, dark hair trailing after it like a shadow.

            “Abraham?”

            Alex followed, running as quickly as her legs could carry her and faster still when she could manage.  The tiny shadow forged ahead, ducking under branches, weaving through the thickets like it knew them by heart.  Alex stumbled after, feet swallowed by dead leaves, tripping and tumbling over hanging vines.

            They stopped together in a clearing, grass blackened and burnt, ground overturned, gutted.  Dead trees laid, rotting, to one side.  It looked to Alex like a scar cut deep into the forest, and the figure, a child, stood in the center.  It was a girl, dressed all in black, dark eyes fixed on Alex as she approached.  She looked like Abraham, but close examination showed Alex that she wasn’t.

            The little girl had dark hair, though not black, and tan skin.  Their eyes, Alex’s and the girls, and were the same color, the same brown so deep and dark that it almost looked like a void in space.  She smiled, bashfully, and gave a little wave.  “Hello,” she said, in a voice Alex recognized.

            In fact, Alex knew her, and stood, rooted, trying to place the little girl’s face.  It was so familiar, someone she knew from her past, someone she knew so well.  Every aspect of her was familiar, a memory long abandoned or deeply buried.  She knew her eyebrows, her nose, her tiny chin and her teeth, her posture, and even her laugh.

            “Wait.”  Alex’s eyes went wide, and once again she was shaking.  “Are you?”

            The girl giggled.  “My name is Alex,” she said.  “I’m you!”

 

: Murderer :

 

            Shana woke up in the sand, water tickling her toes and teasing her bare feet as it licked at the shore.  The sun was hot on her, warming her bones and sand around her.  She could taste salt and dirt and moved her dry tongue about before spitting out a mouthful of sand.  She could hear the sea shifting around her, singing softly in the breeze.

            She sat up and opened her eyes.  The beach around her was empty, white sand gleaming in the midday sun.  The blue-green sea stretched out behind her, into the horizon.  She thought, in the distance, she could see the shadow of an enormous tree, its long, spindly branches scrapping the sky.  Before her was a forest, dense and dark, bark like coal and leaves like emeralds.

            She stood and dusted her pants, knocking the sand from them as she spat more sand onto the ground.  she tucked back a few stray hairs and gave another cursory glance.  Alex was missing, disappearing after the glass fell away.  They had reached for each other in the darkness but were pulled apart.

            Shana held out her hand and called to it.  With it, she could search for Alex, even find her, but when she closed her eyes it wasn’t there.  The light inside of her was swallowed by the light around her.  It was so bright that it was blinding, and she couldn’t filter it.  So, she instead walked the length of the beach to see if she could find Alex nearby and called for Alex on the way.

            The island was empty, save for the forest at its center, which was nothing but shadows and silence.  It seemed to her as empty as the rest of the shoreline.  Wherever she was, she was alone, covered in sand, mouth dry as a casket.  She slumped with a sigh and hugged her knees at the edge of the water.  Again, she closed her eyes.

            Alex appeared in her mind, lying in the rain and bleeding.  Carolyne was nearby, looking equally dire.  That is how Shana found them, dying or near death, she could hardly tell.  There wasn’t time to contemplate it.  She applied pressure to the wound but found the blood slipping through her fingers.  She didn’t have enough strength to save Alex; it would have taken all the strength in the world.

            Shana had screamed and then there was a flash.  Then she was alone in a jungle, humidity leaving her clothes wet against her skin, her hair curling and damped.  Samantha found her, then.  Samantha, with her dark hair and ivory skin.  Samantha, who loved her and who she loved and through a series of mistakes and a strange revelation, Shana found Alex again, and she felt whole.

            She remembered how warm Alex had felt, and how brightly she had shined, and...

            Shana sat up.  “Warmth.”  She looked up at the sun and the clear blue sky.  “Light.”  She stood and looked back toward the forest, and she realized the truth.  Alex wasn’t missing but was all around her.  When reaching to her Voice, to Heart Song, she hadn’t failed but had found Alex already, burning like a beacon in the night.  The sun light, Shana realized, was decidedly familiar.  It was the way Alex shined when she would smile, and Shana knew it by heart.

            She smiled and hugged her legs tighter.  Alex was there, with her, all around her, and Shana was sure that if she waited long enough, they would see each other again.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex stared, and the younger version of her stared back.  The girl, Alex realized, didn’t simply share her face.  She shared her dark hair, her dark eyes, perhaps even her soul.  Somewhere inside of her still, Alex was the little girl staring back at her, and somehow, that little girl was her.

            “What...”  Alex paused, thought.  Her head still felt heavy like lead, and her brain, too.  It felt like she had been compressed and, all-in-all, she felt oddly self-conscious facing herself like that.  Without Shana there, Alex was entirely alone with herself.  Eventually, she settled on, “How’d you get here?”

            The girl skipped toward her, hopping over burnt earth and broken branches.  She came to a stop before Alex, her dark hair swaying, and she pointed at Alex’s chest, just left of center.  “Abraham thought we should meet.”

            That meant Abraham was alive, or so Alex assumed.  She crossed her arms and examined the little girl closely and found she looked very solid.  In fact, the longer Alex looked, the more real the girl became until she seemed more substantial than even the dirt beneath them.  “And you’re me, right?”

            Little Alex nodded, and she held her taller doppelganger’s gaze.  Alex kneeled down so that they were face-to-face, Alex the sober adult, solemn, serious, and mature; and Alex the little girl, pure innocence hidden behind smiles and jitters.

            “And why did she want us to meet?”

            The girl shrugged and stared at the ground, swaying gently as she rubbed her own arms.  She looked small and sad, but it lasted only a moment before her energy returned.  She met her own gaze again and gave her a familiar look, one that was meant only for Alicia.

            Alex stood stiff and stuffed her hands into her pockets.  She stared out at the forest, her face a mask of stone.  Her thoughts went to work, to Shana, to survival, to Abraham and the Emotion.  The sky was still clear blue.  There wasn’t a cloud in sight.

            Little Alex frowned.  “Why are you so grumpy all the time?”

            Alex looked down and found the girl staring again, arms crossed, feet planted, a miniature her with the same miniature gestures.  Even when narrowed, those dark eyes were big as saucers and dark as the ocean’s depths.

            “Just shut up, will you I’m trying to think.”  Alex paced away, walking the area of the scar.  If Shana was somewhere on the island, she reasoned, it was somewhere in the woods.  If she wants, then Alex would have to find a way off.  The Emotion, as she understood it, was meta-physical.  Maybe, she could use her voice to find a way off.

            Little Alex followed, trailing with her arms held behind her, humming to herself.  They walked for nearly ten minutes in silence, a girl and her past.

            Alex stopped, stared down at her smaller self.  “What’re you doing?”

            “Following.”

            “Why?”

            “Because.  Where are you going?”

            Alex rolled her eyes, huffed.  “I’m looking for someone.”

            A moment of contemplative quiet and then a smile exploded onto the little girl’s face.  She took Alex by the fingers, her hand small but strong, and gave a tug.  “You’re looking for Shana!  Follow me, I know where she is!”

            Alex was tugged forward and followed hesitantly.  Of all the people she knew, Alex trusted herself the least, but she had nowhere else to go.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Shana fell asleep, curled up and hugging her knees at the edge of the shore, the gentle lull of the waves sending her off as the water licked at her toes.  She fell into the darkness of her dreams, where time was suspended.  She waited like a stone until she heard something calling out to her from that darkness, a voice like a song, like the waves and the shore, perpetually rolling.  Time didn’t pass in the Emotion, she remembered, at least not in a manner which she understood.

            The voice drew nearer.  Shana, listen to me.  Hear me.  Please.

            It was a high voice that bounced around her.  It was the wind on the trees, distant and beautiful.  It was the twinkle of the stars against the black night.  She stood in the sand and opened her eyes, and she stared into the horizon, but she saw nothing.

            Please.  Just listen.  Open your heart and listen.

            The voice, Shana realized, was from inside of her.  It was the light inside, shining bright even in the darkness.  It was her soul.  The words reverberated through her entire being, and it surrounded her and consumed her, just as she surrounded and consumed it.  She closed her eyes again, and she saw it in the darkness.

            Her Voice was strange and beautiful, with long ears like that of a fox but a brunt, whale-like face.  Long whiskers hung from its maw; a tail swayed behind its heavy form.  Its appraised her with eyes that were the same color of brown as hers.  Its flesh was blue and gold.

            Warmth spread through her as it approached, and she opened her eyes and found it now floating above the water at roughly the same height as her.  Up close, it was enormous with a hardened carapace covering its upper body.  Long trains of knitted silk hung from its body, catching the breeze and spreading like wings.

            She touched its furry ears, and it rolled onto its back, revealing its soft underside.  She laughed.  “You’re my Voice, aren’t you?”

            It mewled symphonically.

            “I thought so.  But what are you doing here?  How did you even get here?”

            I came for you, it sang, I came to help you.  You’re looking for Alex, but she’s not here.  You’re too close to see where she is.  It righted itself and sunk under her, surfacing beneath her and lifting her onto its back.  The ridges in the carapace was perfectly spaced to fit her.  Her Voice cradled her as it drifted up into the blue sky.  Around her, she could see the skyline stretching out infinitely and the small island shrinking from view.

            Shana hugged its frame.  “What do you mean by I’m too close?”

            You’re inside of her right now, but that isn’t the same as seeing her.  A cell in your body doesn’t see you because it’s the same.  But I can take you to her.  I can help you find her, to really see her.

            “To really see her?  Like, what do you mean?”

            I can take you to her heart.

            “To her heart?  Like the Emotion?”

            Yes, but inside of her.  Alex is lost and alone, isolated in a sea of her own sorrow.  This is why she is here but not with you, and you cannot help her fix the problem.  Not here, and not how you would like.  It’s hers and hers alone, but you can still help.

            Shana nodded.  “I understand, and I want to be there.”  She grabbed tightly to the armor and patted her Voice’s side.  “Take me to her.”

            Her Voice hummed and drifted higher into the sky.  Water swallowed them from above and the world went black.  Shana’s lungs burnt as they ascended, going higher and deeper.  The shadows grew thick, dark hangs grabbing at her.  Her chest ached, her ears throbbed, but she kept her eyes open and, eventually, she saw the light.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex stood by the water, where the girl led her.  They still held hands, and the girl’s other arm, small and dainty, was stretched out and toward the sea where she pointed.  “She’s there,” she said.  “But you can’t see her cause it’s too far.”

            Alex released the girl, jerking her arm away and stepping into the water.  Her shoes filled.  In the distance, she could see a land mass and, in the foggy horizon, possibly an enormous tree, and she scowled.  After everything, all of the battles, all of the struggle, all of the hurt, Shana was stolen away from her yet again.  Another loss, another set-back, added to a lifetime of them.

            She kicked at the water.  “What the hell is the point of all of this?”  She screamed and flailed, and she stared then at the girl, who was recoiling back.  “So, what? I’m stuck here?  Stuck here while Shana is over there, out of reach!  I can’t even have her, can I?”  She approached her younger self and took her by the shoulders.  Shaking her, she screamed, “Why?  Why does this keep happening?  What did I do to be punished like this?  Wasn’t it bad enough to...”  She stopped, expression softening, eyes empty.  She turned back toward the sea, slouched, hands in her pocket.

            The girl paused beside her, hesitating.  A few empty seconds pass without only the sound of the tide to fill them.  Little Alex stepped forward.  “Are you okay?”

            “Just tell me how to fix it.”

            The girl took a deep breath, frowned.  She looked older, now, older than Alex, older than stones and trees, older than thought itself.  Standing beside Alex, she took her hand again.  “There is only one way, and you won’t like it, but I think it will work.”  She looked at Alex, a faint smile, and Alex nodded.  “Then, follow me.”

            They turned away from the water and the shore, and away from the horizon and stared into the forest.  From there Alex couldn’t see the scar, but she could feel it inside of her, deep, deep inside of her, hardened and forgotten, buried in the foundations of it.  The girl squeezed her fingers.  “Say goodbye to it,” she said.

            Alex looked at her.  “To what?”

            “To your little island.  When this is all over, you’ll never see it again.”  The girl looked at her, a tiny mirror, and said, “It’s important.  It’s how it starts.”

            Alex took a deep breath, and she nodded, and she whispered her goodbye.  Together they turned again and found the sea churning.  A storm was moving in, darkening the sky and stirring the waves.  Little Alex took a step forward, and Alex trailed after.

            The water opened, swelling with waves that parted like mouths and snapped at the air.  A long line of them spread across the sea, moving toward them with hurricane force, and the girls met them head on as they crashed against the shore, and they were swallowed.

            Darkness took them, blinded them, and chilled them.  The pressure of the water squeezed the last bit of light from inside of Alex, who awoke again, this time in darkness without even her soul to help her.  She heard a noise behind her, the sobbing of a child, and she saw a light, and she turned.

Indigo: Abraham, Emotion Vol. 2: Murderer, Chapter Eight: "The Glass House (The BoneGrinder, Remix)"

 

Chapter Eight: The Glass House (The BoneGrinder, Remix)

 

            Alex didn’t dream.  After Alicia’s death, she dreamt every night, about Alicia, sick in bed, pale, buried in blankets.  Then, after years passed, she dreamt of darkness or blackness, emptiness, vast and hungry, eating every memory she had of her sister and growing hungrier after.  This time, Alex didn’t dream.  She slept deeply and soundly for what felt like the first time in her life, with no nightmares or voices to distract her.

            When she woke she was calm, almost happy.  He wounds had closed, her fevers passed.  Stiff limbs loosened as she rose, and though she was still bruised across her arm and chest, she was mobile, even healthy.

            She found Shana beside her.  They had fallen asleep hidden in the grass, lying beside the water, and she woke instead in what looked to her like a hollowed-out glass bead.  Tall, thick pillars of glass surrounded her on all sides, edges smoothed to a voluptuous roundness, perhaps by erosion or some other voice.

            The interior was glossy and dark.  There was light, somewhere, swallowed by the thick glass and dimmed to the point where it was nearly impossible to see.  The walls were cool to the touch and cast everything in a dull, blue-white color that blurred everything together.

            She felt along the walls for a few feet and found they were in a cavern.  There was a long, winding path that ended immediately behind them and another that led away and deeper in.  The shadows were darker, there.  There was less light to go by.  She followed it for some time, to where the paths forked, and then returned, deciding it was better to work her way back to Shana before they were separated again.

            Shana woke at Alex’s approached.  She stretched and yawned, and then felt around their darkened surroundings.  “Alex?  Alex!”

            “I’m here.”  Alex joined her on the floor, sitting beside her close enough that they brushed shoulders.  Feeling her then, Shana settled, and Alex could almost feel her smile in the darkness.

            “Where are we?”

            “Not too sure.  The surroundings shifted again.”

            “Yeah, looks like.”  Shana rubbed the sleep from her eyes and then placed her palm along the wall.  Alex couldn’t see her, but she could feel the movement of her body, and it seemed to her that Shana was tracing the contours of the glass with her palm.  “Feels like we’re inside of a marble.  Weird.”

            Alex nodded and then stood.  She offered Shana her hand and helped her up.  “Wherever we are, we need to keep going.  Ellen and Abraham are lost somewhere in here.  Here being...this whole place.”

            “Here being the Emotion?”

            Alex paused and wondered just how much Shana knew.  She remembered the dark-haired woman who disappeared as they fought and wondered about her, too.  In the end, it didn’t matter, and she didn’t want to revisit it.  The battle itself had been hard enough, on both of them, and was not worth revisiting.

            Alex didn’t know much about the Emotion, though.  Carolyne had called it the ‘heart of God,’ but that didn’t mean much.  It was a strange place, pulsing with so much life that sometimes Alex had trouble remembering herself while she was there, but she figured that didn’t matter, either.  She found Shana, and she would find Ellen and Abraham, and that’s all she cared about.

            She took Shana’s hand, like she would when they were children, and led her forward in the darkness.  In her free right hand, Alex conjured her Voice, Three Gods. Feeling the familiar tingle travel up her spine, it formed in the air, reality warping to accommodate its sudden intrusion, and her senses shifted.  The life felt sharper, the area around her more detailed.  The blade slid smoothly from the brace and, once it was fully formed, she found the words and spoke them silently to herself.

            Blazing corona, lustrous light, red blade of power, lend me your might.

            A soft, orange glow formed along the face of Three God’s blade and lit the area around them.  It wasn’t much to see by, but it was better than nothing.  In the dim, hazy light, Alex saw Shana smile.

            “Well, that’s pretty convenient,” Shana said, and Alex tried not to smile.

            “It’s not much.”

            Alex led them with her arm out, keeping her heated blade at a distance.  They took the left path out and into a narrow room, dark like the rest.  The shadows were dense here, the glass thicker above from the looks of it, and swallowing the light.  Sometimes, when Alex moved her blade, it seemed to her like the shadows were telling her lies, showing tunnels that weren’t there.

            She stopped and closed her eyes because she didn’t trust them anymore.  Instead, she called out with her soul.  It stretched out, filling the halls, filling the world, spreading into the light all around that made up the life of the Emotion and seeing through it.  She sorted through it all and found herself, standing with Shana, hand-in-hand.

            She moved deeper and reached farther, burying herself into the energy that surrounded her and letting it spread through her.  The Emotion was vast, greater than anything she had ever seen, a world or even countless worlds itself.  In this great, endless light she found the boy from the library.  His aura was gentle but edged, as if something was weighing on him and chipping away at his heart.

            Beyond and beside him, she found Ellen, her presence gentle and warm, reminding her of a sunflower in bloom.  She found also another presence, one which dwarfed her own and seemed almost a world of its own.  The presence was vast and empty, devoid of almost everything at all.  It cast light, but that light was entirely without color.

            As she came back, she found another presence.  It was faint but powerful, and once she looked in on it, she knew immediately.  The presence had gone native and was slowly being swallowed by the Emotion, as Alex feared she might be, but what it lacked in depth it made up for in density.  She knew it immediately and found it waiting not far ahead.

            She opened her eyes and stared out into the darkness.  Shana stood beside her, holding her by the hand and looking anxious.  “Alex?  You okay?”

            Alex nodded.  “Yeah.”  She looked ahead, down the tunnel.  It was there—he was there—Goliath, waiting to finish what he started.  She looked back at Shana and knew what she had to do.  “Wait here.  I’m going to scout up ahead and see if there’s a way out.”  She released Shana’s hand but was grabbed by the wrist before she could go.

            “No, Alex.  We should stick together.  It’s safer that way.”

            “No.”  Alex jerked away.  “You stay here.”  She tried her best to look resolute but found it hard when staring into Shana’s eyes.  “You look tired.  So, rest.”

            “I’m fine, Alex, and it’s dangerous here.  I won’t let you go alone when I can go with you.”

            “You’re waiting here, and that’s the end of it.”

            “No, it’s actually not.”  Shana was glaring, now, and had her hands on her hips.  It was a warning sign Alex knew well.  “I want to help you, Alex.  I’m going to help you.”

            Alex paced.  She braced into the wall and looked ahead at the tunnel.  From where she was, she thought there might be a curve in the darkness.  In her mind’s eye, she could see Goliath waiting on her, and she could also see Shana there beside him, broken at his feet, killed to get at Alex.  That couldn’t happen, Alex wouldn’t let it, so she let go.

            Three Gods dissolved into the air and the light went with it.  The darkness was abrupt, made worse by the sudden disappearance of light, but Alex knew where she was going and how to get there.  She heard Shana stumble after her, could almost feel her groping in the darkness.

            “Alex!  Wait, why are you doing this? Where are you going?”

            Alex followed the tunnel to the bend and stopped.  She looked back.  “I’m sorry, Shana, but I don’t have a choice.  I won’t let you get hurt, and I definitely won’t let you die for me.  I’ll come back for you when it’s all over, but for now, you have to stay here and stay safe.”

            “Alex!  Stop!  Where are you going?  You can’t die, dammit!  Get back here!”

            Alex whispered a, “Goodbye,” and left as she heard Shana crying.  She turned the corner and followed it down, exploring the tunnels far ahead of her.  Shana was smart and stubborn, too, so Alex knew she would follow, but she hoped that Goliath could be dealt with before Shana’s arrival.  It didn’t matter to Alex who died in the fight, so long as it wasn’t Shana.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Alex found Goliath waiting in a large, domed cavern.  The ceiling was high and thin, the light from above shining brighter here, perhaps even amplified by the glass.  The walls were smoothed and contoured like the rest of the cavern.  Eight giant, glass pillars filled the center with narrow spaces cut through each of them by water, time, or magic—Alex didn’t know.  All three seems possible in the Emotion.  Alex walked between two as she approached Goliath.

            He was seated, legs crossed, near the far wall.  An enormous sword, easily taller than Alex and wider, too, was laid at rest in front of him.  The grip was made of dark steel and was as long as one of her arms.  Her arrival pulled him from his reverie.

            Goliath smiled as their gazes met.  The shadows here were swallowed by the light, and those that remained had sharp edges to them.  It made his face look gaunt and his muscles harder cut.  In this light, she could see him for what he truly was—a giant of a man, skilled in combat, and sent to kill her.  He stood, hefting the massive blade as if it were weightless.  “Welcome.  Where is your friend?  You aren’t here alone.”

            Alex went stiff.  They knew, already, about Shana.  That was the line she needed.  Before, she hesitated to kill Goliath, but she would do anything to protect Shana.  “What do you people want with us?”

            His smile faded.  He held the blade in one hand and moved it with impossible ease.  “I’ve been sent to kill you.”  He didn’t say it with humor or joy.  It was like the words were heavy, and he hardly seemed able to force them from his lips.  “You should have given up last time, when I let you live, because I can’t do that again.  This time, I can’t let you escape with your life.  You have to die, and so does she.”

            “And why?  Why do we have to die? We just want to find our friends.  What does any of that have to do with you?”

            “It doesn’t matter,” Goliath said.  “These are my master’s orders.  I won’t fail him again.”

            Alex screamed, “Why?  You clearly don’t want to do this, so why?  Why follow someone who would order you to kill a complete stranger?”

            “Because, he is strong, stronger than you or I, and the strong lead the weak.  That is the way of the world, girl.  You lived last time only because I allowed it, and you will die now because he demands it.  For whatever reason, he sees you as a threat, and that is very unfortunate for you.”

            His words and tone left her feeling numb.  Somewhere else, sitting on high, there was someone stronger than Goliath.  Someone stronger than the man who nearly killed her, and that was the one who wanted her dead.  All of the bruises in her body ached in remembrance.  She knew from the start that there would be no reasoning with him, but she had still hoped for the best.

            She thought of Shana then, and her eyes narrow.  She called on Three Gods, and in a flash of liquid steel it appeared and spread across her arm.  The blade extended and the red jewel gleamed in the dragon’s maw.  She widened her stance and tried her best to keep limber.  “Fine!  If that’s all you can say, then let’s finish this.”

            He sighed.  “And you plan to fight again.  Don’t you remember what happened last time?  How futile your struggle is?  I thought those wounds might teach you a lesson.”

            “They did.  They taught me what would happen if you got your hands on Shana.  So, I won’t lose again, not after you threatened her.  You can break my legs, sever my spine, for her, I’ll keep fighting until the end!”

            Goliath gave a long, cold stare and shook his head.  “Fine,” he growled, “We will do it your way.  It doesn’t matter.  In the end, you’ll both be dead.”

            The air grew tense and heavy, and the distance between them no longer seemed so great.  Goliath stood tall, shoulders straight, his blade seized in both hands.  It looked sharp enough to cleave through stone.  His entire body was hardened, one massive muscle ready to pounce, and staring at him Alex felt like a tiny girl in far over her head.

            He moved and roared, dragging his blade and leaving a long, thin trail of glass shards in his wake.  Meeting him head on would be fruitless.  He was a warrior and knew how to kill.  In a fair fight, he was better.  Alex knew this and retreated, backing up and rounding a nearby pillar to hide behind.

            Goliath stopped and spun, moving the blade cleanly through the foggy glass.  Alex felt it pass only inches above her head.  Cracks spread out like long, jagged fingers through the glass.  She heard his blade making a second pass along the ground and barely caught glimpse of it in time to jump and save her ankles.

            The landing left her flat on her stomach.  On the other side of the pillar Goliath gave another roar, this one sounding more beast than man, and planted his foot against the pillar.  He pushed, and the glass screeched and shattered as it slid out and tilted forward.  Alex saw the shadows shifting, felt the floor rumble and fissure, and she rolled out of the way just in time.

            Shards of glass scattered around her.  They bloodied her hand as she pushed herself to standing.  There was no time to think of a new strategy, Goliath was on her and he brought his blade with him.  He leveled it and swung at her waist.  She leapt away and sought refuge behind another pillar, this one thicker than the last, and made the long sprint around it.

            Here, she stopped and waited.  He was on the other side.  She could feel him, his presence stirring the air.  He lifted his blade and forced it through the glass.  It appeared just beside her, and she moved as he gave a herculean jerk and parted the pillar, tearing half of the glass away as he removed his blade.  The glass dissolved into a fine, shimmering fog that spread around them and cut Alex’s lungs as she breathed.

            Suddenly, the last battle came back to her.  Alex remembered the injuries, her bruises aching, and she could only see Goliath now as a hazy figure on the other side of the fog.  His big form moved swiftly toward her, preparing for a lunge.  Another deep breath, and Alex leapt into the hollow of the pillar where he was and met his thrust, and she aimed for the heart.

            Goliath stopped and brought his blade up, swatting at her with the flat side.  She landed on it, her feet finding home on its improbably width, and was thrown a few feet away, landing between two other pillars and rolling to a clumsy halt just passed them.  Goliath gave a smile.

            “Impressive,” he said, turning to meet her.  He leapt and brought his blade down over head, and he was just about to land a killing blow when a flash of light distracted them both.  Shana met him in the air, intercepting his weapon with her own.  Her Voice knocked his blade aside and into the pillar to Alex’s left, shattering it in impact.

            Shana landed on one knee in front of Alex, breathless but ready.

            “Shana?  What the hell are you doing here? I told you to wait!”

            “And I told you I was coming,” Shana said, and she stood beside Alex.  “He’s the one who hurt you, right?”  She stared at Goliath, through him, and held her Voice firmly in both hands.  “Now, it’s my turn to hurt him!”

            Goliath forced his blade free.  He towered over both of them.  Even together, defeating him seemed impossible.  He sneered.  “You could have chosen Samantha and lived, you know.  Then, neither you nor she would have had to die.”

            Shana breath caught.  Her grip lightened.  “Samantha’s dead?”

            Goliath brought the blade down again, and this time Alex intercepted.  She shoved Shana to the side and then leapt away, letting the blade crash into the air between them.  Shana was still stunned on the other side, but Alex was standing.  “Go, Shana!  I don’t want you here.  I don’t want you to get hurt!”

            Shana recovered, pulling herself up with the pillar behind her and bracing against it.  “Idiot!  Don’t you ever think about me, about what I want?   You don’t want to lose me.  You want to protect me!”  She glared and lifted her hammer again.  “What about how I don’t want to lose you?  What about how I don’t want YOU to be hurt!”

            Alex paused.  In truth, in all her life, she had never considered it.  Even in that moment, when she was told in person, she didn’t really understand.  Being so weak as Alex was, she had always figured Shana thought of her as a burden, an obligation, a responsibility.  She always felt like she held Shana back, that all of it was simply pity and kindness.

            Goliath spun, bringing his blade around and aiming to sever Shana’s head with a single stroke.  Shana ducked under and let the blade slice through the pillar at her back, and Alex then saw her change.  She summoned all of her strength and charged, and she felt lighter and stronger than she ever had before.  She leaped, and she felt like she was flying.

            Her Voice scratched the ceiling at acme, and words came to her from somewhere deep in her soul.  She heard them and understood then, and she let the form in her throat and change the world around her.  “All sorrow at bay.  All hope come to light!”

            Alex landed with staggering force.  Three Gods shined, bright as the sun, and lit the cavern interior.  It was blinding and warm, and Goliath caught the attack with the flat of his blade but couldn’t stand against it.  His rooted legs came undone, and as he staggered, his blade collapsed as she grew ever brighter.

            This time, he was moved, moved into the glass wall on the other side of the room with enough force to shatter it on impact.  His slumped, the glass dusting his body, still conscious but stunned.  Alex landed, equally surprised, but didn’t take the time to admire her work.  She went straight to Shana and helped her to stand.

            They made eye contact, and Alex allowed a small, hesitant smile.  “Thank you, Shana.  For everything.  For caring about me.”

            Shana smiled back, though she seemed more bemused than happy, as she tilted her head to one side.  “Why wouldn’t I?”

            Alex was about to reply when she felt it.  The air had shifted and a chill crawled up her spine.  Shana goes wide-eyed just before Alex throws them both down, and a chunk of glass, literally pulled from one of the standing towers, sails overhead.  It collapses the pillar nearby and covers both girls in a find, glittering dust.

            Alex stood and turned to find Goliath on his feet.  He wiped blood from his chest, mixing it in with the sweat and hair there.  At his feet laid his fractured sword, parted in two by her attack.  The wall behind him had a deep crack where he had landed.

            He grinned.  “You’re faring much better than you did before, I’ll admit.”  He reached into the air and the light shifted.  From the ether he produced a large, leather whip which fell, coiled, at his feet.  With a flick, the whip snapped and severed what remained of the nearby pillar.  It hung suspended for a moment before collapsing to the ground.

            He repeated the movement, this time leaving a lash cut in the ground around Alex’s feet, and he started toward her.  Alex retreated a step and remembered Shana beside her, found her kneeling and breathless.  She stared ahead a moment and then sprinted away, drawing Goliath away with her.

            He followed, leaving deep gashes in the glass around her.  She fell back and let her momentum slide her forward, into the safety of one of the few pillars left, and there stopped to catch her breath.  She could hear the whip snapping and cracking and then felt it catch her in the side as it came around the pillar.

            Contact was soft but deep, splashing blood across the glass and leaving her to scream and wince as she clutched the fresh wound.  From a distance she heard Shana yell and then watched as the whip unfurled, moving almost in slow-motion as it struck like a serpent.

            The air shifted again, and this time Shana changed.  Alex recognized that moment of inspiration, when the Voice came to her.  The hammer shimmered, and Shana’s Voice seemed lighter as she charged forward, her body moving with uncharacteristic speed, and she screamed, “Ignore my title, dismiss my name.  Hear only my song!”

            The air hummed and the glass fractured around Shana as she moved.  Just as the whip was about the strike, Shana caught it with a well-placed swing and brought it just short.  It snapped inches from Alex’s face, leaving only a shallow gash across the bridge of her nose.

            Alex recoiled back, wincing as she did, and as she recovered found the floor shuddering.  Chunks of glass disappeared into a dark abyss below as the floor gave out from under them.  Goliath was the first to fall, his heavy body being too much to bear.  Alex and Shana ran for her each other, hands out-stretched, as the darkness swallowed them.

            The world grew dark and cold.  Alex saw nothing in the darkness, save for two lights.  One was dim and the other shined brighter than any beacon, and she knew it immediately—Shana.  She went for it but soon even that was gone.

            As the darkness receded Alex found herself in water.  She was warm and sore.  The wound in her side pulsed and stung, as did her nose.  She opened her eyes and found a clear blue sky with a pale sun suspended in the distance.  A halo of light burned, prismatic, around it.

            She sat up and struggled in the effort.  Once again, her body wished not to heed her and couldn’t support her.  She fell back, again, heavy as a stone, and the darkness took her again.

Indigo: Abraham, Emotion Vol. 2: Murderer, Chapter Seven: "Murderers (SecondThoughts)

 

Chapter Seven: Murderers (SecondThoughts)

 

            The sky was the color of aged steel and cast everything under it in a harsh, dull light. It paled the dirty spires of the cathedral below, as well as the broken archways.  It made the gargoyles that lined the entryway seem alive, their fractured bodies seeming to be mended by the light, their dark eyes made into sunken holes.  The canyon around the cathedral was foggy and empty.  The air was wet.

            Crest stood on the bridge, staring first at the cathedral and then down into the foggy canyon abyss.  He stood still with Carolyne slumbering soundly on the bridge beside him, and he sneered.  With a single movement he could kill her, toss her over the edge and forget her, but that was no way to treat a toy when it could still be played with.

            So, he stood and waited, and when she finally woke it was in a fiery rage.  She leapt up, Voice forming in her hand, and nearly jammed the razor tip of the rapier through his throat.  Her eyes were untamed fire, but her heart wasn’t.  No matter how hard she tried, she just wasn’t a killer.

            He regarded her calmly, even with the tip of her blade pricking his throat. He just stared at her, into her, and stayed that way until she relented.  Her Voice faded in a flash the steely light and she stepped away, placing a hand on the bridge’s guard rail before she stared out into the canyon below.

            “What the hell happened there?”

            Crest turned, too, and stared into the canyon alongside her.  “You went to kill the blonde, and you failed.”  He looked back at her, now wearing a wry grin.  “You had the perfect chance, but you choked.  No backbone.  None at all.”

            She frowned and she scoffed, and she didn’t say anything at all.  She just gripped the guard rail so hard it hurt.

            “What were you even doing there, little girl?”

            She glared at him, and he kept her gaze.  His calm only made her angrier, but she didn’t have a response.  She didn’t have the power she wanted, and she certainly couldn’t take her first kill from him.  Not without dying in the act, at least.  “I was taking the initiative.  Those two are nothing but trouble, and we just let them roam around, doing as they like...”

            “But those were not your orders.”  Crest turned and nodded toward the Cathedral.  “You were supposed to be guarding the Covenant.  That is your only task.”

            “The best way to guard something is to remove the threat to it entirely.  I was being proactive.”

            He grinned.  In ways, she reminded him of himself, the way she lied to herself, hid her own motivations to keep herself sane, or at least an approximation of.  She was angry, and that made her violent, and she couldn’t accept it.  Abel wouldn’t care either way, though.  Crest, however, could use her.

            “Perhaps, but those were not your orders.”  He kept his tone measured.  She could be a murderer, but she would have to pushed there slowly.  “The master doesn’t want to kill anyone he doesn’t have to.  It is simple as that.”

            “Then he is wrong,” Carolyne said, and she went quiet after.  Crest gave her a look of precise surprise and suspicion.

            “Would you care to elaborate?”

            Carolyne hesitated, and she felt at the guard rail, picking away imaginary paint chips.  Her skin had paled a bit, and she certainly looked to him like she was anxious, the way her eyes darted, the way her weight shifted.  When she spoke, she made an honest effort to hide her fear.  “He’s too soft, too weak to kill.  Or, his resolve is.”

            Crest smiled.  She truly was ignorant, but that would make her even more useful to him.  “Carolyne,” he said, turning toward the canyon and staring into the empty horizon, “I assure you, the only thing greater than our master’s strength is his resolve.  That he sees no reason to spill blood unless it will help us toward our goal is proof not of weakness, but of absolute power.  Now, don’t misunderstand, he doesn’t care about those two fools, nor would he be hurt to see them go.  The problem isn’t that you attacked them, but that you left your post to do so.”  He looked at her again and found her gaze fixed firmly on the fog.  She couldn’t even bring herself to meet his eyes.  Shame.  It was exactly what he wanted.  “You cannot be so reckless,” he said, “especially if you cannot commit yourself to your own recklessness.”

            He paused to hear her response, and when she had none, turned away.  The shadows around him coalesced, pooling around his feet.  “Perhaps, you should worry more about your own resolve rather than the master’s.”  He said it quickly and dropped into the shadows, disappearing from view.  Soon, the shadows were gone, too.

            Carolyne remained, alone on the bridge, hands tight on the guard rail, glowering at the landscape below.  She felt angry, angry with him, angry with Abel, and with Alex, and with Ellen, and with herself.  She was a murderer, she just had to prove it.

            She turned sharply and stuffed her hands into her pockets, and she stomped away, shoulders slouched, back toward the cathedral.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Deidra waited inside of the cathedral, at the top of the stairs.  She stood alone on the platform, near the edge, looking out at the pews and the stained glass above.  Four torches burned around the gemstone in the center, the Covenant, where the girl slept. 

            She turned to the Covenant and stared inside.  The girl was small, so much smaller than she had thought.  Her raven hair was fanned out around her body.  She was curled up, fetal, hugging her knees to her chest.  It was hard for Deidra to understand, but this little girl alone held the fate of the world inside of her, or at least according to Abel she did.

            Footsteps echoed, leading the way up the stairs.  Abel entered, taller than she remembered.  He regarded her impassively and from the look in his eyes, she could tell he was close.  He was almost empty, but the sight of her aroused something.  It was brief, just the merest flicker, but it showed that more time would be needed.  His voice shook her as he spoke.  “Deidra,” he said, stopping beside the Covenant and staring into its core.  Another emotion, hunger or greed, in his eyes, another thing to be purged.  “She is beautiful, isn’t she?  And almost human, to the untrained eye.”

            Deidra crossed her arms and stepped back, leaning into the guard rail.  She watched him watch the Covenant, and she betrayed nothing.  They fell into a lengthy silence, just staring, and finally she spoke.  “Why did you summon me, Abel?”

            “You know why.”  He didn’t look up, didn’t even accuse her.  He didn’t have to.

            She shrugged and stared.  He met her gaze with blank eyes, and she met him with equal apathy.  “Pretend I don’t.”

            He held her gaze, his expression colder than the harshest winter.  It was too much, even for her, but she managed to stay through to the end.  When he looked away, she felt a great relief.  Sometimes, when speaking to him, it was difficult to remember that there was ever anything human inside of him.

            “You went to see him.”

            “I did.”

            “You let them escape.”

            “It was a mistake, and I won’t let it happen again.  So, if that is all.”  She lifted her dress to just above her ankles and moved briskly past him.  He caught her by the arm in a grip tight enough to cause her pain and held her there.

            “Deidra, I need you to be honest.  Are you having second thoughts? I have to know.”  He tone was even, clinical.  His eyes lingered on hers for a moment too long.  She remembered when they were younger, in the rain, how much passion he had, how much vigor, and she wondered how much of that was smoked out of him by the flames.  “I must be sure where your loyalties lie,” he said.  “You know my plan well, better than any of them, so I just need to know that I can trust you.”

            She swallowed the lump in her throat and pulled her arm free from his grasp.  “Whether I am having second thoughts or not is none of your business, nor does it matter.  Fate will take whatever path it wills.”  Her arm still ached where he held her.  She can feel the flesh swelling under her sleeve.  “Whatever will be will be, Abel, whether I do or don’t.  But still, it was a mistake.  That much I can admit to you.”

            He remained quiet and still, so much so that she thought he may not of heard her.  After a few seconds she just left, going toward the stairs, her boots clicking against stone platform.  She found Cornelius waiting at the base of the stairs, his armor still dirty from their time in the desert, his sword resting, blade down, in front of him.  He hefted it up when she approached and bowed his head low.

            They went together toward the door and met Carla on the way.  She was seated in one of the pews but rose at their approach and smiled as they passed.  Carla held the handrail and took the stairs up, and she joined Abel on the platform, watching Deidra and Cornelius’ exit.

            “Master.”

            “I apologize,” he said, turning to her.  “I know you have much work to do, but I wanted to speak with them privately.”

            “It’s fine.”  She gave him a smile.  He gave her nothing in return.

            “Continue the incubation,” he said, and he glanced toward the doors, spying Deidra’s back just before they closed.  “I must go to purify myself.”

            He left her there, alone with the Covenant.  She watched him disappear down the stairs and then went to the center of the platform.  Sitting between two torches, she folded her legs and put her hands together, linking her fingers and feeling the energy inside of her.  A quick breath, and then she reached forward, placing her hand flat against the Covenant and feeling the energies inside of it.

            Slowly, quietly, she began to whisper.

 

: Murderer :

 

            While Deidra and Abel were inside speaking, Carla was outside on the bridge.  She sat to one side of the bridge, braced against the guard rail and staring up at the sky.  Once, she remembered, the area had been cast in golden light, but that was long ago, before Deidra, before Abel.

            Carolyne approached her, slouched and shuffling, and Carla stood to meet her.  They didn’t know each other well, but Carla knew just the way to change that.  She met her with an open smile and an open hand.  She was someone who carried herself with an openness and warmth that few people had and many would envy.  “Hi, there.  You’re new, right?  I’m Carla.”

            Carolyne stopped and regarded her quietly.  She nodded toward her but didn’t take her hand.  “Carolyne,” she said.

            Carla withdrew her hand and rubbed the back of her head.  They stood together, in the shadow the cathedral cast.  “You’re here protecting the cathedral, right?  Protecting me?”

            “Sure.”

            Carla smiled.  “Thank you for that.”  Carolyne shrugged.  “Carolyne, is something wrong?”

            Carolyne paused, frowned.  “No.”

            “Clearly, something is.”  Carla looked her in the eyes, touched her shoulder lightly.  “Come on, you can talk to me.  You can tell me anything.  I promise.  Trust me.”

            For a moment Carla thought it had failed, that the words had no power over the other woman, but Carolyne’s expression softened, and though she pulled herself from Carla’s touch, she stayed closeby, leaning against the guard rail and staring up at the sky.  After a long breath, she finally said, “I’m afraid to kill.”

            Carla leaned into the bridge beside her.  She crossed her thick arms over her chest and nodded thoughtfully.  “Well, of course you are.  Anyone who isn’t afraid to take a life isn’t alive themselves.  What you’re feeling is perfectly natural.”

            “But I want it.  I want to kill.”  Carolyne sagged.  She fiddled with her hands, keeping her fingers busy.  “I am better than this, you know.  I don’t have time to worry about their lives, and they’re not worth it.”

            Carla leaned back and stared up at the sky.  She wondered if it had really ever been that golden color she remembered or if that was all a dream.  It was difficult to tell dreams from reality there in the Emotion, and for someone like her, who had been there so long, it was nearly impossible.

            “Murder isn’t so simple.  It isn’t about who is better or worse, or even about who deserves to live or die.  It’s about dreams and time.  To take a life is to take another person’s future away from them, all of their dreams, all of their time.  That’s why it is a sin, and the very act of it, even in self-defense, will leave you scarred forever in your soul.”

            Carolyne frowned again, this time more deeply than before.  Her hands found their ways to her pockets, and she looked at Carla.  Carla met her gaze.  “If you believe that, then why are you helping him, when you know he will kill and has killed before?”

            Carla smiled, the same open, warm smile.  “Because Abel is planning to fix a world that has long been broken.  Once he is pure, and he ascends, he will pull us all up with him.  And it will hurt some.  It may even kill them.  But in the end, we’ll all be better for it.  Does that make sense to you?”

            “Not really, but...”  Carolyne held out her hand and let Carla shake it.  “Thanks.  And it’s nice to meet you.”

            “Likewise.”  Carla stood from the guard rail and went to the door.  She pushed the doors open and stood in the threshold, stopping long enough to look Carolyne in the eyes. Where Carolyne’s eyes were reminiscent of spring, Carla’s muddy brown eyes seemed more at home in autumn. “Feel free to talk to me anytime.”

            Carolyne put her hands back in her pockets.  “Sure,” she said, but even then, Carla knew she never would.

 

: Murderer :

 

            Carolyne sat alone for a while after that to gather her thoughts.  She sat on the bridge’s railing, staring out into the misty depths of the canyon.  Sometimes, she thought she could see the very bottom, but in truth it was all just a great shadow.  Even if she could see it, she would never know.

            Deidra left with Cornelius in tow, and that is when Carolyne took the chance to enter the cathedral.  She didn’t like it there.  The air outside felt oppressive, but the air inside was otherworldly.  Rows of pews lined the first floor, leading up to a raised platform with a wooden pedestal at its center.  Four marble columns held the second floor aloft, and a ghostly red glow could be seen from above

            Sitting in the center, staring at the podium, was Goliath.  He had his hands folded and head down in prayer.  Carolyne approached him and stopped at the end of his pew, staring at him and wondering how he managed to fit.  Being as big as he was, he seemed entirely too large for the seat itself.

            “May I help you?”  He asked without opening his eyes, and Carolyne stayed quiet until he looked at her.  Then she crossed her arms and sat at the far end of the pew, legs folded, and she stared back.  He cocked an eyebrow at her.  “Yes?”

            “You were the one sent to kill Alex.”

            “Yes.”

            “But you didn’t.”

            “No.”

            “Why?”

            “She was weak and hardly worth it.  There is nothing to be gained from slaughtering the weak and the innocent.”
            “Then why do it now?  Why follow Abel at all?”

            He stared at her for a few moments longer and then bowed his head.  Finishing his prayer, a few silent whispers meant only for him, and he rose.  His body was a pillar of muscle, carved straight from marble and gleaming with perspiration.  “I dueled him once, long ago, when I first arrived here.  He defeated me, quickly, and proved his will was stronger than mine.”  Goliath looked at her.  “He is stronger than me.  So, he leads me.  Do you understand?”

            “I guess.”  Carolyne swayed her foot.  “And you...”  She paused.  “When you see her again, what will you do?”

            He took a great breath.  From where she sat, he seemed so tall that he scrapped the sky.  “I will let her decide how we proceed and react accordingly.  Nothing more and nothing less.”

            “You’ll kill her?”

            “Those were my orders.”  They locked eyes for only a moment, and Carolyne saw him for what he was.  Everyone who came to the Emotion lost something, and in that loss, they became something else, and she saw Goliath for what he became.  He was big and strong, and that is how he defined himself.

            He sidled out of the pew and turned his back on her, taking the long walk with his head high shoulders set.  He left the Cathedral, and he left her alone, shaking her foot in the silence and sorting her thoughts.

            She wanted to kill, had to kill to prove that she could, that she was above them, better than, ascended, but something held her back.  Ellen looked so weak, so frail, so pathetic, and though it turned Carolyne’s stomach, it also weakened her resolved.  However bad she wanted it, in that moment at least, Carolyne just couldn’t shake her second thoughts.